Good Deeds

Keith Ferrazzi (nevereatalone.com) once spoke about the use of "currencies" in relationships. In a manner of speaking, relationships contain a dynamic trade of currencies that help get the ball rolling when it comes to making true genuine connections with others - favors, actions, help, and even simple compliments. This is not to be confused with the concept of favor equity - counting how many times you've helped someone only to expect them to pay you back in a commensurate way.

I remember talking to Keith once about these currencies, and when I gave him a sincere compliment about how his book had changed my life, he told me that that was a great example of setting out these currencies in building meaningful relationships.

Relationships however, vary in degree depending on who you are experiencing or encountering. The relationship you have with your mother reflects years of more than just mere currency exchange; it reflects the long-term development of a presumably strong foundation. It reflects family. On the other hand, the stranger on the street reflects just another passer-by...that is, until you decide to smile at him or her. Even in that scenario, you have given a simple effortless currency in furtherance of relationship building, albeit, a short-lived, casual, yet rich and meaningful one.

This is why I like good deeds. It is the manifest and illustrative currency used for building these mini-relationships with the absolute stranger.

In one minor example, I helped a woman carry her baby stroller down a steep stairway at the train station...and boy, it felt good. I know, tons of people do it in NY (yes, I've seen many people do it), and I don't claim to be the most generous person in the world, but boy...it felt good. These mini-relationships always get me going.

This is a disposition and attitude that I would like to have for the rest of my life. It's a far cry from the jackass new yorker attitude I wore a few weeks back. It's also something I wouldn't want to lose after getting into the groove of litigation.

Speaking of which, I'm at work and it's 9:30 pm. If you read this, take time out to help someone you see on the street, on your way to work...whatever. If you allow it to be spiritually refreshing, then it will be. Plus you get to make someone else's day better than it already is.