The name of the game is stress. I have been the self-proclaimed champion of this game in my little world for about 29 years, and it is right about time to retire. Too long have I found myself swimming in a cesspool of unnecessary stress. Too long have I allowed my little world to swallow itself in a mind-created black hole. Too long have I sustained the very demon that I have been trying to exorcise, only to suck the happiness out of my relationships with others, and most importantly, the happiness within myself. It's not who I want to be moving forward. Moreover, now that I am in a long distance relationship, any stress that emanates from my behavior and state of being is magnified a hundred times over, and the last thing me and my girlfriend would need is an emotional gap to further widen the blatantly obvious physical gap that remains between us. This too goes for my relationship with friends and family.
Of course, going through the workaday world has its own additional sources of stress, such as simply trying to make ends meet, or making sure I have enough groceries, so there is a lot to deal with when living alone.
My change has transpired over the years, but has been purely a mind and attitude-focused type, with broad but incomplete changes. Now is the time to take everything to another level and see more genuine results. I am of the belief that taking care of my body will free my mind of stress, prompting me to embark on a serious mission to incorporate yoga, some diet modifications (I'm quite certain a scrumptuous pork dish will appear in a subsequent post notwithstanding this declaration), and proper breathing into my life. Once my back heals fully, I plan to return to sports as well. My good buddy had once reminded me of a powerful yet neglected principle: mens sana in corpore sano (a sound mind in a sound body).
I used to think that yoga was a funny hobby and alternative to the gym with a trendy reputation. Years later, I find myself in a yoga class trying to sweat out not just the toxins in my muscles, but 29 years of an inner-stress that has kept me from freely being who I have been wanting to be all these years. It's never too late for awesome changes I suppose, and I want myself and those around me to feel a lighter and more joyful presence of me.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
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