Old Friend on Law and Order

Last Saturday, I had an encounter with a long-lost friend from my past in another friend's birthday party. Apparently, she knew my other friends from the theater scene back home, and now they're all big time here in the United States in their own little way.

She and I met in college because we were both recruited to sing in this R&B group that managed to get a few significant gigs here and there. We basically performed old school R&B covers such as songs by the Braxtons and Groove Theory among other artists. It totally slipped my mind that she was in New York and was into acting as well.

So we caught up, and I realized quickly that she was still a zany firecracker of a woman. During the conversation, her ADD-ish self digressed to an invitation for me to watch TV in November. Apparently, she's coming out in an episode of Law and Order...more specifically, the opening scene where a witness finds a dead body. Apparently, she was the witness...and not the dead body.

How hot is that?

She also has a french surfer boyfriend who not only knows Philippine geography better than me, but has a tighter Filipino accent, can speak some tagalog, AND can sing Filipino tunes. What a shame for me.

I should start brushing up on my French and show him...Zut alors!!

A Moment

It was the first time in a very long time that I had a moment --a specific kind of moment-- and it felt really good, sort of like the daytime-in-the-office realization that it's Friday.

I don't want to say what it was, but I can tell you what it was not. It wasn't winning anything, or getting a compliment from someone; it wasn't an affirmation at work, or a nice email from a friend; it wasn't an episode of poetic justice or redemption or anything to do with anyone else gaining or losing anything; it wasn't about being noticed; it wasn't complicated. Rather, it was something simple, short, yet momentous.

It made me smile, and in a cosmic way, it made my day.

Good to Go

I received fantastic news this week.

My boss approved of my participation in the Queens County District Attorney Pro Bono program, so my dream of arguing in court is becoming more apparent and real. Just thinking about it feeds my competitive spirit and compassion for the community with meaning. Imagine, one day, I'm dealing with companies that have allegedly issued false and misleading statements to their investors, and the next, I'm in court handling a criminal case. This is how I believe a lawyer's career should be balanced.

Charity Golf Take One

Yesterday marked my first ever charity golf tournament as a professional working for a company that partially sponsored the event. Along with some other attorneys, we basically played 18 holes at a prestigious Golf Club for the benefit of a Hospice and Palliative Care Society (not sure if it's "Society" but you get the drift).

During the tournament, I

1. almost hit an old lady teeing off at another hole, and of course, she had no idea that the ball landed right next to her
2. was almost involved in yet another vehicular accident when one my colleagues decided to drive the golf cart through curves like a rally car (he laughed as I almost fell out the side and possibly into a stream of water)
3. was witness to the amusing idiosyncracies of a partner
4. had to listen to a Jamaican caddy who seemed to know a bit too much about the supply of pot in his native homeland
5. had only one successful drive off the tee, but only to have it rocket into a tree that essentially allowed the ball to roll back and away from the green.

Other than that, I had a few good shots. Unfortunately, I didn't win in anything in the raffle that proceeded the tournament, like tickets to Hairspray or a Heineken sports bag...but that's okay. There's always next time. Fun times.

The Unexpected Father's Day Rebirth

Because of my somewhat strained relationship with my father, I never considered Father's Day to be an important day of the year. In the most unexpected turn of events, I found myself greeting my dad for the first time in a long time. On top of that, I believe the last time I spoke to him was the end of 2006.

So we exchanged messages, and did something we never thought would've happened. He apologized and I forgave him. I in turn, realized that in one of my most powerful moments ever, I had forgiven myself. A fantastic way to end my weekend (other than watching a game at Yankee stadium last night) and start anew.

Didn't Get the Memo

So, guess who didn't know that Fridays are now dress-down casual, and has been that way for the past few weeks. Yup. I'm the Joseph Abboud model today and quite unnecessarily so.

Son of a...

I want my jeans.

A Cesspool of Egos and the Illusion of Organization

Today, I was required by New York State to attend what they call an introduction to the profession orientation class, and what I call an utter waste of my time and gas. Apparently, NY lawyers must be informed of the 4 most pressing issues that a lawyer will face in his or her career, and gaining this knowledge is a prerequisite before being sworn in as a member of this o so noble profession.

What were these issues?

1. Civility and Profession - The lawyer spent half an hour telling us how important it was to act with courtesy to opponents, clients, judges, clerks, etc. Okay... So, he closes his lecture with a maxim: "Treat it with sugar, and not vinegar." He continues to advise us that an easy way to remember this is to have a packet of sugar in your pocket at all times. Good job. I'll be sure to stop by CVS on the way home and buy some splenda. That should remind me to make objections in court with a sunny smile on my face.

2. Ethics - Some other lawyer lectures on how to communicate and deal with client confidentiality. The redundancy of this profession has reached a ridiculous level. Not only were we required to take around 3 classes of professional responsibility in law school, study professional responsibility for the Bar exams, AND take a national professional responsibility exam, but we have to hear the same thing one last time just for good measure... Gotta love efficiency ey?

3. Banking and Recordkeeping - Don't commingle your personal funds and the funds of your client. Took 1 1/2 hours to get that message across.

and the best...

4. Alcohol and Substance Abuse - I won't make a joke here because it's a really serious topic. But it's good to know that there is a confidential "help hotline" for lawyers just in case things go awry. Cool thing is, it doesn't have to be about alcohol or drugs...it can be addiction problems to gambling, sex, ...issues of depression. So yea, it was the most interesting topic; the discussion, however, only took up 10 minutes of the torturous 3 hour session.

It's a good thing I bumped into a friend from law school to keep me company during my transient battle against narcolepsy. Some of the new lawyers were tools...they were like staring each other down, seeing who had the blackberries and the nicer suits, and some even came in their law school hoodie to announce to the world that they went to a top law school. Good idea if you are an egotistical prestige whore who pretends not to care about anyone else but does indeed care because you want people to praise you for going to a good school. Problem is, if you showed up to this class and you're not in a suit, it's probably because you don't have a job. Ouch.

Back to work.

Today's Initiative

3 important points:

1. I plan to join a pro bono program that will involve dealing with criminal cases in the appellate division of NY state courts. This will give me the opportunity to argue in court, which is what I've been wanting to do for the longest time. I miss professional argumentation, and it's about time I get the ball rolling. It may mean extra time at work, but that's all good; it's worth the sacrifice to be doing something wonderful for the community and at the same time show these NY judges what I'm made of. Of course, this is all pending an approval by my employer.

2. I promised myself to join a special weekend seminar that is supposed to be quite an experience according to my friend. As vague as the concept is, she calls me every other night to sell the seminar to me. Suffice it to say, she herself seemed so much more empowered after she had joined, so I'm more than willing to take the plunge with this one. Watch out for some posts after the weekend ends...it seems very promising.

3. I need to reach out to those who helped save my life last October. I have no more excuses to keep this from lingering.

Life Soundtrack Take Two

A year back, I posted about how songs become your life soundtrack, and how people go as far as playing them in their mp3 players on their way to work as if the theme of the song were a reflection of the person's feelings or current situation in life. Last year, it was Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley, and a kind stranger commented that it shouldn't be that way.

Well, it's a different year and a different soundtrack. Only this time, I have no soundtrack. No one song is being played over and over in my car or ipod while I'm at the gym. No song sticks out. For the first time ever, I do not have a coherent theme. Sometimes, the song that plays in my head is the one that goes, "you're the best, around...nothing's ever gonna keep you down...," which was, for you pop culture kiddies played during the final tournament scene in The Karate Kid when Daniel San was working his way to the finals. Honestly, I didn't download the song and I certainly wouldn't admit it if I did. Other times, it's Caught up in the Rapture by Anita Baker. What? Yea. I know right, polar opposites.

Will post again if I ever figure out what that song or songs might be, but for now, I got nothing.

Much more than that

Apparently my personality assessment was 5 times longer than what I had posted below. Maybe I will just post some blurbs about what the algorithm has to say about me as I go about my week.

Personality Test

Ha. I took a personality test just for the hell of it. Here is the assessment:

"What can I do for you?" These words probably feel very natural to you. More than most people, you are genuinely interested in the well-being of others. If they are in trouble, you offer compassion and go out of your way to be helpful. If they need someone who will listen, you are attentive, trustworthy and sympathetic. And you are direct with them; when they need advice or counsel, you offer it in as straightforward and direct a manner as you can. There may even be times when you put others' needs in front of your own. And you do so without the expectation of some reward or recognition. Yours is a different kind of compassion; you are genuinely tenderhearted and take pleasure in helping others while expecting little or nothing in return. For you, it's not tit-for-tat, you truly want to do things for others that will better their lives. You mean it when you ask, "What can I do for you?"

Though your motives arise from genuine compassion, some people might think of you as "a little too good to be true." They could suspect that your kindness is something you use to ingratiate yourself with others or to get them to like you. Others may suspect that your altruism is a mask for your own problems; you take care of others but never let others get to know you well enough to offer you their care. Some of this suspicion may be genuine; they just can't believe you're this kind. But it may also be triggered by envy; people see in you a tenderheartedness they don't find in themselves, and it makes them uncomfortable so they take it out on you with their suspicions. If you spend your time taking care of others, you may not have enough left to take very good care of yourself. If you're always asking, "What can I do for you?", you may not focus enough on your own needs. You're so busy taking care of others that you neglect yourself and empty your reserves of energy and good health.

For the most part, people will feel gifted to come across someone like you. For those you help, you will be light in the darkness, a hand up when they've fallen into a ditch. Your true graciousness and selflessness is rather rare these days and is often a breath of fresh air in this all too often dog-eat-dog world. Others will see in you the kindness that each of us seeks in life, both in our own characters and in our relationships with others. And you will become a model of that honest compassion; someone others may even look up to. When the one potential partner truly appreciates who you are, he or she will feel blessed to be with someone that seemingly no one else in the world can be, mainly because you genuinely are a rare find, true lover and exciting partner.

Can't Fight the Feeling

Fr. Manoling once told me, as I had posted last year, that you have to accept that you cannot control your feelings, but can only control how you react after you feel a certain way. Day-to-day struggles then become this battle just to get through the day without driving yourself off a cliff (no pun intended). Fortunately, each day becomes easier, and the battles become challenges, then the challenges become triumphs. Triumphs translate to growth. Growth becomes strength. Strength leads to self-acceptance and appreciation. Self-acceptance and appreciation become love.

Good times.

True Power: Surviving Cancer

One of my close friends was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma at the young age of 22 and in the middle of her first two years of med school.

After having lunch with her today, I realized how powerful people can be. She is long past her last chemo treatment and has been recovering. On top of all that, she survived her second year of med school and the ups and downs of personal relationships including close friends, classmates and a boyfriend now ex. Right now, she's still figuring out what to do with herself in terms of what she wants out of life and whether what she has in front of her is "fulfilling."

In reality, the power was obvious not so much by the way she came across to me while we were talking, but by the stark contrast of today's meeting compared to the way she was immediately after her final chemo treatment back in February when we went out for some coffee. I realized that giving up on life is very real, whether caused by life's disappointments or recovery (or non-recovery) from a deadly disease. Getting up in the morning is sometimes hard to do, but when you choose to do it, you are always one step closer to genuine empowerment. She has a ways to go for full emotional recovery, but her life perspective is now much different than it was last year, and she still pushes forward.

Reunions, Funerals, Graduations, and Baptisms

There is such an interesting mix of things going on this weekend, including a joint graduation party, a community reunion, the wake of an acquaintance who died suddenly and the welcoming of another friend's second child.

When you go through the motions of life, you realize that others are going through the same human events as you, just at different phases, under different circumstances, and with different ways to react. There is a sense of belonging...belonging to a world of people who feel feelings, face trials, celebrate triumphs and confront vulnerability. I've already had my graduation party last year, and have experienced and will continue to experience death close to me, continue to have reunions with distant friends, and experience the welcoming of friends' children and even my own later on in life.

I'd better get back to reading some treatises for work. Will post again later.

Unexpected Death

I just found out that someone I knew back home had died of a stroke. He was around 30 and was very personable - we used to play basketball and soccer together. Suffice it to say, I received the bad news through several emails and text messages...only then did I realize how connected he was. His best friend and brother are also friends of mine, and I cannot even imagine what they are going through right now.

He was too young to die and had a promising life ahead of him. Ironically, he suffered the stroke while giving a seminar for work. I pray that his family find peace after the grief has passed.

I also pray in thanksgiving that God didn't take away my life back in October.

Strange Phone Call

Caller: "Good morning, I'd like to have my gutters cleaned."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Caller: "I'd like to have my gutters cleaned. Is this John's Gutter Service?"
Me: "Nooooo. This is a law firm."

Good job.

Song of the week: Seven Days in Sunny June - Jamiroquai. So appropriate!

Done

Done.

Depositions, Drama and HDTVs

Reading through hundreds of pages of deposition transcripts has to be one of the most idle, useless and unproductive activities that I have ever done. So, I decided to blog and give my brain a breath of fresh intellectual stimulation. Sad to say, I think I have lost enough brain cells over the past few weeks because of unnecessary occurrences and angst-causing drama to the point that the coherence of this post may be at risk.

Hmmm. I was just thinking...I could be on a cruise right now with my family on the Mediterranean, celebrating my grandmother's 80th Birthday. Instead, I spend a few days on the phone with the cable operators because they decided that ironies, albeit morbid, cruel and darkly humorous ones, need to be a part of their customers' lives once in awhile: i.e. the cable box conks out during the weeks of TV's season finales.

Dramatic I am, as my girlfriend would describe me, and I try to temper it moderately and in a timely manner. My drama is something I would not dispense of because it belongs to the same thread of character that fuels my passion. To do such a thing would be to emotionally amputate my soul. Deep I know.

So now I'm staring at deposition transcripts. The good news is, by Saturday morning, I will be staring at something else more delightful and enticing...my new 40" LCD Flatscreen HDTV. I decided not to go for the plasma (thanks to the sound advice of my girlfriend), and am happy about the purchase. http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=7688914&type=product&productCategoryId=pcmcat95100050006&id=1138083537963 So now I have my memory foam bed and flatscreen HDTV.

Next purchase? I really need to stop shopping for myself and buy gifts for the people that helped save my life after that car accident of mine back in October. I also need a TV stand.

Memory Foam

The sensitive man often thinks about consumerism and financial conservatism. In my case, I have never been known to be a big spender because I tend to overthink my philosophy on having and spending money. Every once in awhile, however, even the most minimal of spenders need to treat themselves to that ultimate consumer product that just changes lifestyles. Almost 16 paychecks later, I find myself making that ultimate purchase, and my life has changed ever since.

Yes. It is exactly what you think it is. I made the purchase and am damn proud of it. I bought a memory foam bed, and it is the most amazing thing:

http://www.sealy.com/TrueForm/TrueForm.aspx

I fall asleep faster and it's much more difficult to wake up in the morning. Suffice it to say, my body doesn't take a beating anymore while sleeping. Such a great investment I believe.

Nice.

Next up? Flatscreen HDTV.

Road Rage Against the Machine

I believe I must speak out against road rage...and hard-headedness for that matter.

Road rage has gotten me punched by an amateur boxer, threatened by an old man with a cane, and most recently, immobilized at the bottom of a hill off Route 22 in New York only avoiding death through sheer divine intervention.

Yet, the rage persists. Today was no exception. I don't even want to go into it, but I can never figure out how I developed this ... this disorder. It has to stop.

Meanwhile, I've been listening to Rage Against the Machine (and Alice in Chains for that matter) as of late -- no connection to the road rage topic whatsoever (yes, I mean it...no connection) -- and it makes me want to buy an electric. I haven't channeled and released my frustrations through a musical instrument in such a long time. I almost feel like my anxieties are well-kept inside my body and not wanting to leave. I need to play music to thrive and survive.

Going back to my topic, if you drive down Route 22 now, you will see that on one of the curves, a cross has been erected in memory of someone who recently died there because of a car accident. Driving further down south, you will see the curve that I drove off. I can't be this hard-headed. I need to get this seemingly innocuous yet incredibly hazardous part of my life together before God decides that one extra chance is enough for this lifetime.