Charity Golf Take One

Yesterday marked my first ever charity golf tournament as a professional working for a company that partially sponsored the event. Along with some other attorneys, we basically played 18 holes at a prestigious Golf Club for the benefit of a Hospice and Palliative Care Society (not sure if it's "Society" but you get the drift).

During the tournament, I

1. almost hit an old lady teeing off at another hole, and of course, she had no idea that the ball landed right next to her
2. was almost involved in yet another vehicular accident when one my colleagues decided to drive the golf cart through curves like a rally car (he laughed as I almost fell out the side and possibly into a stream of water)
3. was witness to the amusing idiosyncracies of a partner
4. had to listen to a Jamaican caddy who seemed to know a bit too much about the supply of pot in his native homeland
5. had only one successful drive off the tee, but only to have it rocket into a tree that essentially allowed the ball to roll back and away from the green.

Other than that, I had a few good shots. Unfortunately, I didn't win in anything in the raffle that proceeded the tournament, like tickets to Hairspray or a Heineken sports bag...but that's okay. There's always next time. Fun times.

The Unexpected Father's Day Rebirth

Because of my somewhat strained relationship with my father, I never considered Father's Day to be an important day of the year. In the most unexpected turn of events, I found myself greeting my dad for the first time in a long time. On top of that, I believe the last time I spoke to him was the end of 2006.

So we exchanged messages, and did something we never thought would've happened. He apologized and I forgave him. I in turn, realized that in one of my most powerful moments ever, I had forgiven myself. A fantastic way to end my weekend (other than watching a game at Yankee stadium last night) and start anew.

Didn't Get the Memo

So, guess who didn't know that Fridays are now dress-down casual, and has been that way for the past few weeks. Yup. I'm the Joseph Abboud model today and quite unnecessarily so.

Son of a...

I want my jeans.

A Cesspool of Egos and the Illusion of Organization

Today, I was required by New York State to attend what they call an introduction to the profession orientation class, and what I call an utter waste of my time and gas. Apparently, NY lawyers must be informed of the 4 most pressing issues that a lawyer will face in his or her career, and gaining this knowledge is a prerequisite before being sworn in as a member of this o so noble profession.

What were these issues?

1. Civility and Profession - The lawyer spent half an hour telling us how important it was to act with courtesy to opponents, clients, judges, clerks, etc. Okay... So, he closes his lecture with a maxim: "Treat it with sugar, and not vinegar." He continues to advise us that an easy way to remember this is to have a packet of sugar in your pocket at all times. Good job. I'll be sure to stop by CVS on the way home and buy some splenda. That should remind me to make objections in court with a sunny smile on my face.

2. Ethics - Some other lawyer lectures on how to communicate and deal with client confidentiality. The redundancy of this profession has reached a ridiculous level. Not only were we required to take around 3 classes of professional responsibility in law school, study professional responsibility for the Bar exams, AND take a national professional responsibility exam, but we have to hear the same thing one last time just for good measure... Gotta love efficiency ey?

3. Banking and Recordkeeping - Don't commingle your personal funds and the funds of your client. Took 1 1/2 hours to get that message across.

and the best...

4. Alcohol and Substance Abuse - I won't make a joke here because it's a really serious topic. But it's good to know that there is a confidential "help hotline" for lawyers just in case things go awry. Cool thing is, it doesn't have to be about alcohol or drugs...it can be addiction problems to gambling, sex, ...issues of depression. So yea, it was the most interesting topic; the discussion, however, only took up 10 minutes of the torturous 3 hour session.

It's a good thing I bumped into a friend from law school to keep me company during my transient battle against narcolepsy. Some of the new lawyers were tools...they were like staring each other down, seeing who had the blackberries and the nicer suits, and some even came in their law school hoodie to announce to the world that they went to a top law school. Good idea if you are an egotistical prestige whore who pretends not to care about anyone else but does indeed care because you want people to praise you for going to a good school. Problem is, if you showed up to this class and you're not in a suit, it's probably because you don't have a job. Ouch.

Back to work.

Today's Initiative

3 important points:

1. I plan to join a pro bono program that will involve dealing with criminal cases in the appellate division of NY state courts. This will give me the opportunity to argue in court, which is what I've been wanting to do for the longest time. I miss professional argumentation, and it's about time I get the ball rolling. It may mean extra time at work, but that's all good; it's worth the sacrifice to be doing something wonderful for the community and at the same time show these NY judges what I'm made of. Of course, this is all pending an approval by my employer.

2. I promised myself to join a special weekend seminar that is supposed to be quite an experience according to my friend. As vague as the concept is, she calls me every other night to sell the seminar to me. Suffice it to say, she herself seemed so much more empowered after she had joined, so I'm more than willing to take the plunge with this one. Watch out for some posts after the weekend ends...it seems very promising.

3. I need to reach out to those who helped save my life last October. I have no more excuses to keep this from lingering.

Life Soundtrack Take Two

A year back, I posted about how songs become your life soundtrack, and how people go as far as playing them in their mp3 players on their way to work as if the theme of the song were a reflection of the person's feelings or current situation in life. Last year, it was Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley, and a kind stranger commented that it shouldn't be that way.

Well, it's a different year and a different soundtrack. Only this time, I have no soundtrack. No one song is being played over and over in my car or ipod while I'm at the gym. No song sticks out. For the first time ever, I do not have a coherent theme. Sometimes, the song that plays in my head is the one that goes, "you're the best, around...nothing's ever gonna keep you down...," which was, for you pop culture kiddies played during the final tournament scene in The Karate Kid when Daniel San was working his way to the finals. Honestly, I didn't download the song and I certainly wouldn't admit it if I did. Other times, it's Caught up in the Rapture by Anita Baker. What? Yea. I know right, polar opposites.

Will post again if I ever figure out what that song or songs might be, but for now, I got nothing.

Much more than that

Apparently my personality assessment was 5 times longer than what I had posted below. Maybe I will just post some blurbs about what the algorithm has to say about me as I go about my week.

Personality Test

Ha. I took a personality test just for the hell of it. Here is the assessment:

"What can I do for you?" These words probably feel very natural to you. More than most people, you are genuinely interested in the well-being of others. If they are in trouble, you offer compassion and go out of your way to be helpful. If they need someone who will listen, you are attentive, trustworthy and sympathetic. And you are direct with them; when they need advice or counsel, you offer it in as straightforward and direct a manner as you can. There may even be times when you put others' needs in front of your own. And you do so without the expectation of some reward or recognition. Yours is a different kind of compassion; you are genuinely tenderhearted and take pleasure in helping others while expecting little or nothing in return. For you, it's not tit-for-tat, you truly want to do things for others that will better their lives. You mean it when you ask, "What can I do for you?"

Though your motives arise from genuine compassion, some people might think of you as "a little too good to be true." They could suspect that your kindness is something you use to ingratiate yourself with others or to get them to like you. Others may suspect that your altruism is a mask for your own problems; you take care of others but never let others get to know you well enough to offer you their care. Some of this suspicion may be genuine; they just can't believe you're this kind. But it may also be triggered by envy; people see in you a tenderheartedness they don't find in themselves, and it makes them uncomfortable so they take it out on you with their suspicions. If you spend your time taking care of others, you may not have enough left to take very good care of yourself. If you're always asking, "What can I do for you?", you may not focus enough on your own needs. You're so busy taking care of others that you neglect yourself and empty your reserves of energy and good health.

For the most part, people will feel gifted to come across someone like you. For those you help, you will be light in the darkness, a hand up when they've fallen into a ditch. Your true graciousness and selflessness is rather rare these days and is often a breath of fresh air in this all too often dog-eat-dog world. Others will see in you the kindness that each of us seeks in life, both in our own characters and in our relationships with others. And you will become a model of that honest compassion; someone others may even look up to. When the one potential partner truly appreciates who you are, he or she will feel blessed to be with someone that seemingly no one else in the world can be, mainly because you genuinely are a rare find, true lover and exciting partner.

Can't Fight the Feeling

Fr. Manoling once told me, as I had posted last year, that you have to accept that you cannot control your feelings, but can only control how you react after you feel a certain way. Day-to-day struggles then become this battle just to get through the day without driving yourself off a cliff (no pun intended). Fortunately, each day becomes easier, and the battles become challenges, then the challenges become triumphs. Triumphs translate to growth. Growth becomes strength. Strength leads to self-acceptance and appreciation. Self-acceptance and appreciation become love.

Good times.

True Power: Surviving Cancer

One of my close friends was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma at the young age of 22 and in the middle of her first two years of med school.

After having lunch with her today, I realized how powerful people can be. She is long past her last chemo treatment and has been recovering. On top of all that, she survived her second year of med school and the ups and downs of personal relationships including close friends, classmates and a boyfriend now ex. Right now, she's still figuring out what to do with herself in terms of what she wants out of life and whether what she has in front of her is "fulfilling."

In reality, the power was obvious not so much by the way she came across to me while we were talking, but by the stark contrast of today's meeting compared to the way she was immediately after her final chemo treatment back in February when we went out for some coffee. I realized that giving up on life is very real, whether caused by life's disappointments or recovery (or non-recovery) from a deadly disease. Getting up in the morning is sometimes hard to do, but when you choose to do it, you are always one step closer to genuine empowerment. She has a ways to go for full emotional recovery, but her life perspective is now much different than it was last year, and she still pushes forward.

Reunions, Funerals, Graduations, and Baptisms

There is such an interesting mix of things going on this weekend, including a joint graduation party, a community reunion, the wake of an acquaintance who died suddenly and the welcoming of another friend's second child.

When you go through the motions of life, you realize that others are going through the same human events as you, just at different phases, under different circumstances, and with different ways to react. There is a sense of belonging...belonging to a world of people who feel feelings, face trials, celebrate triumphs and confront vulnerability. I've already had my graduation party last year, and have experienced and will continue to experience death close to me, continue to have reunions with distant friends, and experience the welcoming of friends' children and even my own later on in life.

I'd better get back to reading some treatises for work. Will post again later.

Unexpected Death

I just found out that someone I knew back home had died of a stroke. He was around 30 and was very personable - we used to play basketball and soccer together. Suffice it to say, I received the bad news through several emails and text messages...only then did I realize how connected he was. His best friend and brother are also friends of mine, and I cannot even imagine what they are going through right now.

He was too young to die and had a promising life ahead of him. Ironically, he suffered the stroke while giving a seminar for work. I pray that his family find peace after the grief has passed.

I also pray in thanksgiving that God didn't take away my life back in October.

Strange Phone Call

Caller: "Good morning, I'd like to have my gutters cleaned."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Caller: "I'd like to have my gutters cleaned. Is this John's Gutter Service?"
Me: "Nooooo. This is a law firm."

Good job.

Song of the week: Seven Days in Sunny June - Jamiroquai. So appropriate!

Done

Done.