Perhaps one of the negatives about living in New York is the fact that night comes in really early during winter. As I look out the window at 3 pm, I notice that streetlights and some car lights have already started to do its job, and the sky is blanketed by only the thickest of clouds. Indeed, the sun looked like it was setting at noon earlier today (seeing the sun today though, was a rare site).
Having said that, the earlier night of December 20, 2007 is definitely not a negative. Seeing the sun set at 3 pm is an earlier personal reminder that the next time I see the sun, I will be relaxing on a plane going home to start a new chapter in my life.
Happy Holidays. Don't forget to be grateful this holiday season. Cheers.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Au Bon Pain: Bread and Mush
It really was a struggle for me, but at the end of it all, it became quite a fulfilling victory, one which, in the greater scheme of things, is minute compared to other challenges we face every day...even if it's the same challenge on a different day. In particular, I am talking about choosing the right food to eat, and even more specifically, what I chose to eat yesterday during lunch on a cold winter Manhattan day.
My good friend and officemate and I decided to eat at popular bakery/we-have-everything-nice chain Au Bon Pain. The place was just a madhouse in terms of people traffic during lunch, but it was also a lunch equivalent to Willy Wonka's Chocoloate Factory. Well, maybe not, but it's much healthier than McDonald's but also not a vegan joint. After a long long morning drafting court papers for a couple of cases (and one morning of pure oatmeal, water, vitamins and a banana later), I found myself hungry yet again, and the view upon entry into Au Bon Pain did not help by encouraging indecisiveness and distraction from what I perceived to be a good healthy lunch: several cookies, brownies, croissants, tarts, cakes...big batches of rosemary, onion, garlic and cheddar breads...hot roast beef melt, cheesesteak sandwiches and so on and so forth...and of course, an offensive corner stand of KRISPY KREME donuts. I just wanted a small piece of everything hoping that there was something like an "ABP sampler."
Well, I ended up veering towards the soup and filled a small bowl with what turned out to be a yummy tomato basil soup. I wanted a huge piece of rosemary focaccia but decided against it. Instead, I got a half sandwich of turkey, tomato, lettuce and cheddar on a roll. The most difficult part was staving off dessert I must say. There were just way too many sweets from which to choose, but I used my will power and concentrated and focused, until my hands had voluntary movement again, resulting in the pickup of a banana on my way to the cashier. I ended up loving my lunch, and it felt good.
So, the question is, am I dieting? Perhaps. To a certain extent, yes. I think most importantly, this is just the result of having an uber healthy girlfriend. She isn't a hardcore health freak, which at the end of the day makes me believe that she is healthier than others, because she still retains beef, chicken (and KFC once in a blue moon for god's sake) and other good stuff in her diet, but she's gotten rid of a lot of bad things. I guess I have never really consciously said to myself, "eat healthy damnit." Her influence just sort of rubbed off and I'm just going along for the ride.
My good friend and officemate and I decided to eat at popular bakery/we-have-everything-nice chain Au Bon Pain. The place was just a madhouse in terms of people traffic during lunch, but it was also a lunch equivalent to Willy Wonka's Chocoloate Factory. Well, maybe not, but it's much healthier than McDonald's but also not a vegan joint. After a long long morning drafting court papers for a couple of cases (and one morning of pure oatmeal, water, vitamins and a banana later), I found myself hungry yet again, and the view upon entry into Au Bon Pain did not help by encouraging indecisiveness and distraction from what I perceived to be a good healthy lunch: several cookies, brownies, croissants, tarts, cakes...big batches of rosemary, onion, garlic and cheddar breads...hot roast beef melt, cheesesteak sandwiches and so on and so forth...and of course, an offensive corner stand of KRISPY KREME donuts. I just wanted a small piece of everything hoping that there was something like an "ABP sampler."
Well, I ended up veering towards the soup and filled a small bowl with what turned out to be a yummy tomato basil soup. I wanted a huge piece of rosemary focaccia but decided against it. Instead, I got a half sandwich of turkey, tomato, lettuce and cheddar on a roll. The most difficult part was staving off dessert I must say. There were just way too many sweets from which to choose, but I used my will power and concentrated and focused, until my hands had voluntary movement again, resulting in the pickup of a banana on my way to the cashier. I ended up loving my lunch, and it felt good.
So, the question is, am I dieting? Perhaps. To a certain extent, yes. I think most importantly, this is just the result of having an uber healthy girlfriend. She isn't a hardcore health freak, which at the end of the day makes me believe that she is healthier than others, because she still retains beef, chicken (and KFC once in a blue moon for god's sake) and other good stuff in her diet, but she's gotten rid of a lot of bad things. I guess I have never really consciously said to myself, "eat healthy damnit." Her influence just sort of rubbed off and I'm just going along for the ride.
On a side note (an important one at that), I believe I've come a long way from the beginnings of this blog and have since transcended from what was then the underlying premise of my writings. Things have a way of coming full circle, and I am starting to find a clearer way through this thing called life. My girlfriend now is a huge part of that, and I would never have guessed that a close friend for 15 years would end up being that one special person.
Cheers to you friends and readers. It's been a long ride, but we have reached the beginning of something new, real and exciting. *End of Mush*
Have a nice day.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Celebrity Sighting Again
In the spirit of this unplanned transition in theme from "Confessions of Sensitive Man" to "Confessions of a Starstruck Man," I had experienced yet another celebrity sighting. Last week, I attended a charity event for victims of domestic violence, and it was pretty fancy to say the least. I was wearing a tux for the first time ever (a partner at my firm pretended to order food with me), and the venue in one of the Chelsea Piers off the West side of Manhattan was absolutely gorgeous.
While I was chowing down free wasabi chips, risotto balls, tuna skewers and other lovely hors d'oeuvres (and numerous glasses of cheap pinot grigio), a tall man and a stunning woman entered the room. I had no idea who the man was, but he was escorted by no one other than Emmy awarding Mariska Hargitay (http://www.mariska.com/), best actress from surviving NBC spinoff, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I tried to get her autograph on my hors d'oeuvre napkin, but I was too late, because I didn't swallow my food in time and couldn't whip out a pen quickly enough. Plus, the ink of the pen would not have found space on that poor napkin due to an overabundance of food oil smeared all over it.
I also feared she might give me her champagne glass thinking I am collecting empty dishes.
This comes a few weeks after my good friend appears in the opening scene of an SVU episode, as she discovers the body of a dead student under an elevator (see previous post of Friend on SVU).
Good times.
While I was chowing down free wasabi chips, risotto balls, tuna skewers and other lovely hors d'oeuvres (and numerous glasses of cheap pinot grigio), a tall man and a stunning woman entered the room. I had no idea who the man was, but he was escorted by no one other than Emmy awarding Mariska Hargitay (http://www.mariska.com/), best actress from surviving NBC spinoff, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I tried to get her autograph on my hors d'oeuvre napkin, but I was too late, because I didn't swallow my food in time and couldn't whip out a pen quickly enough. Plus, the ink of the pen would not have found space on that poor napkin due to an overabundance of food oil smeared all over it.
I also feared she might give me her champagne glass thinking I am collecting empty dishes.
This comes a few weeks after my good friend appears in the opening scene of an SVU episode, as she discovers the body of a dead student under an elevator (see previous post of Friend on SVU).
Good times.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Interesting Aspects of Japanese Culture
I believe it is common knowledge that the Japanese people are relatively deferential, respectful and accomodating in nature. Many are aware of Japanese customs, which reflect this nature, such as bowing and their perpetually friendly greetings. Sure, during my trip to Tokyo a few weeks back, the crazy television shows, funky futuristic aura of the city, and ridiculously fashionable (almost to a fault) people all caught my attention, and dealing with the "Lost in Translation" part of the trip brought about an opportunity to practice my language skills (e.g. sumi ma sen, ohashi o kudasai - excuse me, could I please have chopsticks; shashing tote kudasai - could you please take our picture; hoteru ginza washington wa doko desu ka; where's Hotel Ginza Washington?) was quite the trip... but it really was the occurrence of two smaller, insignificant incidences that really caught my attention for reasons beyond me.
(1) Immigration officers. Was it me, or were they nicest people in all of Japan? Upon entry, my immigration officer must have apologized to me a hundred times for taking forever in processing my passport and thanked me just as many times for visiting Japan. He appeared to be around 24 years old (I'm a bad judge of age at times) and was nervous as hell as I towered over the tiny immigration desk thinking that someone a few meters away would accidentally take my generically black Samsonite off the baggage carousel. Wow. A really nice immigration officer.
(2) ATMs. My first attempt to withdraw from a local bank ended in failure, mostly because I entered an amount of Yen that was not divisible in accordance to the bill denominations of the country. Lo and behold, I could not understand the several Japanese characters appearing on the ATM screen that presumably rejected my withdrawal transaction...however, other than the fact that no money was dispensed by the machine, two cartoon characters appeared on the screen with sad faces...and then bowed...and then remained in a bowing position. I almost wish there was a button to tell the animation to stop bowing and stop apologizing (I mean that with utmost respect even if I know it's their custom -- I thought the cartoon didn't need to apologize).
"It's all good," I said to the lonely ATM screen turned animation reel.
(1) Immigration officers. Was it me, or were they nicest people in all of Japan? Upon entry, my immigration officer must have apologized to me a hundred times for taking forever in processing my passport and thanked me just as many times for visiting Japan. He appeared to be around 24 years old (I'm a bad judge of age at times) and was nervous as hell as I towered over the tiny immigration desk thinking that someone a few meters away would accidentally take my generically black Samsonite off the baggage carousel. Wow. A really nice immigration officer.
(2) ATMs. My first attempt to withdraw from a local bank ended in failure, mostly because I entered an amount of Yen that was not divisible in accordance to the bill denominations of the country. Lo and behold, I could not understand the several Japanese characters appearing on the ATM screen that presumably rejected my withdrawal transaction...however, other than the fact that no money was dispensed by the machine, two cartoon characters appeared on the screen with sad faces...and then bowed...and then remained in a bowing position. I almost wish there was a button to tell the animation to stop bowing and stop apologizing (I mean that with utmost respect even if I know it's their custom -- I thought the cartoon didn't need to apologize).
"It's all good," I said to the lonely ATM screen turned animation reel.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Anita Baker and Rage Against the Machine
Want to hear something odd? I was driving to work this morning, and my Ipod was on its usual "shuffle songs" mode. I felt something was off when I realized that I was peacefully listening to "Sweet Love" by Anita Baker (http://www.noolmusic.com/blogs/YouTube_Music_Videos_80s_90s_-_Anita_Baker_-_Sweet_Love.shtml), only to be followed by some drum-banging on the dashboard to the tune of "Take the Power Back" by Rage Against the Machine (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmdkh1iMT_M). Even more bizarre was the fact that I was not fazed by this schizophrenic manifestation of musical randomness.
I always thought there was some algorithm in the determination of the sequence of songs on shuffle mode, which relies on several factors such as the number of times a track is played and which songs are most similar in genre to a previously/subsequently played song. Clearly, the algorithm was out of control this morning.
Yet, despite this incident, I am a true believer in the concept of the music genome project. Our individual different musical tastes converge at a certain point with similar characteristics, rhythm, chord progression etc. So I believe that the R&B movement had a lot to do with the development of hard rap pro-communist tunes you get from bands like Rage Against the Machine. Hard sell? Maybe. For more on the music genome project, check out http://www.pandora.com/.
How diverse is your musical taste?
I always thought there was some algorithm in the determination of the sequence of songs on shuffle mode, which relies on several factors such as the number of times a track is played and which songs are most similar in genre to a previously/subsequently played song. Clearly, the algorithm was out of control this morning.
Yet, despite this incident, I am a true believer in the concept of the music genome project. Our individual different musical tastes converge at a certain point with similar characteristics, rhythm, chord progression etc. So I believe that the R&B movement had a lot to do with the development of hard rap pro-communist tunes you get from bands like Rage Against the Machine. Hard sell? Maybe. For more on the music genome project, check out http://www.pandora.com/.
How diverse is your musical taste?
Monday, November 26, 2007
Home in a Month
For the first time in two years, I will be going home to Manila. Mark my words, this trip will be something else. The feeling of Christmas and the prolonged celebration of the holidays have always been the most charming of characteristics of Philippine culture. Last year's accident caused my first ever holiday season alone, and I intend to make that up with only great reunions and memories.
Getting a December vacation from work may be one of my most treasured blessings. Simply put, as much as possible, I would like to spend good quality time in Manila every year with family and friends, and this year is no exception.
Next month, however, may be extra special, and there may be more stories to tell come January. It's almost fitting that the recent Tokyo episode has spilled over into a pleasantly surprising continuing chapter in my life, and I expect that Manila may be the next chapter.
I was told 2007 would be a great year personally, and so far, there has been no disappointment.
Getting a December vacation from work may be one of my most treasured blessings. Simply put, as much as possible, I would like to spend good quality time in Manila every year with family and friends, and this year is no exception.
Next month, however, may be extra special, and there may be more stories to tell come January. It's almost fitting that the recent Tokyo episode has spilled over into a pleasantly surprising continuing chapter in my life, and I expect that Manila may be the next chapter.
I was told 2007 would be a great year personally, and so far, there has been no disappointment.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Me and Kevin James
Last week, I decided to fly out to Japan for a few days and then fly to Vegas to attend a christening (a friend wanted me to be a godfather of her second born). I arrived in Vegas on a Friday afternoon. Upon my arrival, I was compelled to treat myself to something good, most especially after the great yet somewhat stressful events that had took place in the preceding days in Tokyo.
It really was just a choice between clubbing, watching one of the several Cirque du Soleil shows, watching a musical, or losing my money to a stupid slot machine (or blackjack table if I wanted to look professional). Instead, I found myself buying tickets to a Ray Romano/Kevin James stand-up comedy show at the Mirage. Oh boy, it was great. Everybody Loves Raymond is by far my favorite sitcom of all time. I love the fact that both TBS and CW in New York play hours of reruns everyday (along with Family Guy, and now The Office). In fact, I'm one of the few believers that the ensemble in Raymond really deserved the group Emmy, beating out Friends on its second to final season. Ray was great, and you could see that most of his jokes were still "family-related" stuff (I know it sounds prudish, but his dry humor is just ridiculous). I had a blast to say the least. The show also included Kevin James, who was also pretty damn funny. I was not a fan of his show The King of Queens (although I thought Leah Remini was pretty gorgeous), but I always thought he was a funny guy, especially in the movies Hitch and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (I think that's the title).
Probably 5 hours later, after drinking and gambling with some friends, I was walking back to my hotel, and lo and behold, I bumped into Kevin James on the street. With my inebriation-driven confidence, I of course stopped him and had a short conversation with the guy. He's a really nice guy!
Starstruck yet again.
It really was just a choice between clubbing, watching one of the several Cirque du Soleil shows, watching a musical, or losing my money to a stupid slot machine (or blackjack table if I wanted to look professional). Instead, I found myself buying tickets to a Ray Romano/Kevin James stand-up comedy show at the Mirage. Oh boy, it was great. Everybody Loves Raymond is by far my favorite sitcom of all time. I love the fact that both TBS and CW in New York play hours of reruns everyday (along with Family Guy, and now The Office). In fact, I'm one of the few believers that the ensemble in Raymond really deserved the group Emmy, beating out Friends on its second to final season. Ray was great, and you could see that most of his jokes were still "family-related" stuff (I know it sounds prudish, but his dry humor is just ridiculous). I had a blast to say the least. The show also included Kevin James, who was also pretty damn funny. I was not a fan of his show The King of Queens (although I thought Leah Remini was pretty gorgeous), but I always thought he was a funny guy, especially in the movies Hitch and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (I think that's the title).
Probably 5 hours later, after drinking and gambling with some friends, I was walking back to my hotel, and lo and behold, I bumped into Kevin James on the street. With my inebriation-driven confidence, I of course stopped him and had a short conversation with the guy. He's a really nice guy!
Starstruck yet again.
Pivotal Moments
There really are great reasons as to why I have not given much attention to "Confessions of a Sensitive Man" in a long time. I knew 2007 was going to be a special year although I was slightly misled to believe through astrology and fortune cookies that everything would occur during the beginning of the year and throughout the summer. Yes, much has happened, including a short-term relationship that ended early early on (yes, for those of you who have emailed and asked, the "girlfriend" mentioned in previous posts is no longer in a relationship with me, and it has been that way for awhile). Yet shockingly, as I waited for 2008 to appear as a reminder that 2007 was just another year of earning money and having a relationship, the most amazing and unrelated phases of transformation occurred during these late months of the year. What makes it even more spectacular is that in hindsight, it appears that the entire 2007 was somewhat of an ontological change, and it is far from over entering the final few weeks of the year.
Having said that, I do not believe now is the right time to get into the details, most especially since the stories running this episode in my life are far from being complete. Accordingly, I will leave this post with some random yet related thoughts that have been the basis for this irregular and exciting sequence of events.
Do you agree that perhaps one of the most difficult things to do in life is to genuinely come to terms with happiness? We joke about the workaday world and how "work sucks" and you wish you were doing one thing over another. How frightening is it to actually do something out of the comfort zone and choose happiness?
Another thing. What is the craziest thing you have ever done? Was it crazy because it was so worth it, but the average reasonable person could never really do it? Was it exhilirating to do it? Was it a true moment in your life?
Final thing. Do not underestimate friendship. You don't know what it has in store for you later down the road.
Last week, I traveled halfway across the world for a few days and on a whim to provoke some of these questions, and I came back realizing that life was new yet again, and I am loving it. My friends said this is the craziest thing I have ever done, yet they supported me all the way. I figured that after all, as so aptly sung by Seal, "we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy."
Having said that, I do not believe now is the right time to get into the details, most especially since the stories running this episode in my life are far from being complete. Accordingly, I will leave this post with some random yet related thoughts that have been the basis for this irregular and exciting sequence of events.
Do you agree that perhaps one of the most difficult things to do in life is to genuinely come to terms with happiness? We joke about the workaday world and how "work sucks" and you wish you were doing one thing over another. How frightening is it to actually do something out of the comfort zone and choose happiness?
Another thing. What is the craziest thing you have ever done? Was it crazy because it was so worth it, but the average reasonable person could never really do it? Was it exhilirating to do it? Was it a true moment in your life?
Final thing. Do not underestimate friendship. You don't know what it has in store for you later down the road.
Last week, I traveled halfway across the world for a few days and on a whim to provoke some of these questions, and I came back realizing that life was new yet again, and I am loving it. My friends said this is the craziest thing I have ever done, yet they supported me all the way. I figured that after all, as so aptly sung by Seal, "we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy."
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Friend on Law & Order SVU Follow-up
I received an interesting reminder on my phone today. As you might have read in an earlier post, a friend will be appearing on a Law & Order SVU episode tonight at 10 PM ET. Make sure to catch the prologue before the opening credits. I believe she gets killed then...or she finds the body...or something.
I don't really watch the show but I will not miss this one. I'm starstruck yet again.
I don't really watch the show but I will not miss this one. I'm starstruck yet again.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
One Year Anniversary
It's been exactly a year since my almost fatal car accident. One year ago, at around this time, I was lying in the Emergency Room of a Westchester hospital, not knowing the extent of my head injuries.
Since then, life has continued. Very soon, I will be visiting the police officers, firemen/women, and EMTs that helped me out of my car and try my best to express my gratitude for giving me 2007.
Since then, life has continued. Very soon, I will be visiting the police officers, firemen/women, and EMTs that helped me out of my car and try my best to express my gratitude for giving me 2007.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Disappointing Event in Westchester
I have never used this blog as a means to criticize people, mainly because the blog has always been a medium for catharsis or self-expression, but also because criticism isn't much of a healthy thing to do unless it is productive. Mindful of that, I will try not to make this particular post an exception to the way I've been treating this blog thus far.
So close to the place that I now call home do I find something in the news that has placed me in a state of disappointment. Of course, it has nothing really to do with the fact that it took place a few minutes away from where I live; it has everything to do with what had transpired.
Marion Jones, former US Olympic medal winner (3 golds out of 5 total during the Sydney 2000 Olympics) and American sports hero has pleaded guilty in a federal courthouse (nearby) for the use of steroids during competition, including, but perhaps not limited to, the Olympics.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/05/jones.doping/index.html
So while baseball fans have spent the past few years debating about whether Barry Bonds deserves the home run record, and on a more important level, respect, such fans likely only constitute a minute percentage of the people who watch the Olympics. On an even more important level - not to put down baseball (I'm watching the playoffs as I write this) - the Olympics is the one event other than the World Cup that catalyzes patriotism and gives sports fans and non-fans alike a sense of belonging on a far-reaching global level. In some instances, this pride is contagious between competitors; fans of one country are at times inspired by the amazing feats of a rival's athlete to the extent that they cannot help but cheer even in the face of defeat. Indeed, pride is so strong, defeat ends up not being the worst thing that can happen in the Olympics.
Perhaps precisely because of strong pride, cheating might be the worst thing that could happen.
Well, it's happened.
Although short of admiration, I commend Jones for coming forward with the truth. It is quite unfortunate that someone who was considered somewhat of an American sports icon had to disappoint her country for victories that were witnessed by many around the world.
So close to the place that I now call home do I find something in the news that has placed me in a state of disappointment. Of course, it has nothing really to do with the fact that it took place a few minutes away from where I live; it has everything to do with what had transpired.
Marion Jones, former US Olympic medal winner (3 golds out of 5 total during the Sydney 2000 Olympics) and American sports hero has pleaded guilty in a federal courthouse (nearby) for the use of steroids during competition, including, but perhaps not limited to, the Olympics.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/05/jones.doping/index.html
So while baseball fans have spent the past few years debating about whether Barry Bonds deserves the home run record, and on a more important level, respect, such fans likely only constitute a minute percentage of the people who watch the Olympics. On an even more important level - not to put down baseball (I'm watching the playoffs as I write this) - the Olympics is the one event other than the World Cup that catalyzes patriotism and gives sports fans and non-fans alike a sense of belonging on a far-reaching global level. In some instances, this pride is contagious between competitors; fans of one country are at times inspired by the amazing feats of a rival's athlete to the extent that they cannot help but cheer even in the face of defeat. Indeed, pride is so strong, defeat ends up not being the worst thing that can happen in the Olympics.
Perhaps precisely because of strong pride, cheating might be the worst thing that could happen.
Well, it's happened.
Although short of admiration, I commend Jones for coming forward with the truth. It is quite unfortunate that someone who was considered somewhat of an American sports icon had to disappoint her country for victories that were witnessed by many around the world.
Friday, September 28, 2007
My Most Cosmic Fateful Day of the Year
Who would've thought. I'm in shock.
I called up a pizzeria to order lunch, and as I punched in the area code on my phone, I accidentally dialed "1-911" and then hung up immediately after realizing my mistake. A minute later, the office receptionist gets a call from the police inquiring about the call. I told the receptionist there was a misdial.
10 minutes later, a cop comes into our office and asks for my last name just to put it on the record and confirm that there was no actual emergency. As he was talking to me, I asked him if he knew the name of a cop from his county who pulled me out of my car after my near-death accident last October.
He said it was him. He asked me if I was the guy who ended up in the reservoir off Route 22 and said he had pictures of the accident confirming that I drove a Jeep. Up to this day, they're puzzled as to why I wasn't killed judging from the pictures. I was speechless; I shook his hand and told him I couldn't thank him enough.
What makes this even more shocking is the fact that I was planning (and still planning) to visit all the people who helped me on my first year anniversary of the accident, which is just a few weeks away.
Such a cosmic world we live in.
I called up a pizzeria to order lunch, and as I punched in the area code on my phone, I accidentally dialed "1-911" and then hung up immediately after realizing my mistake. A minute later, the office receptionist gets a call from the police inquiring about the call. I told the receptionist there was a misdial.
10 minutes later, a cop comes into our office and asks for my last name just to put it on the record and confirm that there was no actual emergency. As he was talking to me, I asked him if he knew the name of a cop from his county who pulled me out of my car after my near-death accident last October.
He said it was him. He asked me if I was the guy who ended up in the reservoir off Route 22 and said he had pictures of the accident confirming that I drove a Jeep. Up to this day, they're puzzled as to why I wasn't killed judging from the pictures. I was speechless; I shook his hand and told him I couldn't thank him enough.
What makes this even more shocking is the fact that I was planning (and still planning) to visit all the people who helped me on my first year anniversary of the accident, which is just a few weeks away.
Such a cosmic world we live in.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Old Friend and Faith Hill
I recently discovered that a middle school friend of mine is Faith Hill's hairstylist. My friend's stories are pretty amazing. Judging from recent posts on this blog, I should probably change the title to "Confessions of a Starstruck Man."
Just a random thought on the same general topic: I saw Mick Foley (the wrestler) and Madeline Albright on the street once (no, they were not together; I saw them on separate occasions...but I'd pay to see a conversation between the two).
Just a random thought on the same general topic: I saw Mick Foley (the wrestler) and Madeline Albright on the street once (no, they were not together; I saw them on separate occasions...but I'd pay to see a conversation between the two).
"God" Responds to Lawsuit Against Him
Maybe some you have heard of the story involving a Nebraska state senator's attempt to sue God for "making terroristic threats" and causing destruction etc. Well, as much as it may be amusing, a recent turn of events makes the story even more amusing. Apparently, God filed a response to the lawsuit arguing that, among other things, the court has no jurisdiction over Him. While there was no address on the response, St. Michael is said to be listed as a witness in the filing.
Here's the story (the court clerk, the recipient of the court documents, has a funny quote):
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070921/ap_on_fe_st/odd_suing_god;_ylt=AmOHjQN6QK2Ic3e2WRtIJgOek3QF
Here's the story (the court clerk, the recipient of the court documents, has a funny quote):
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070921/ap_on_fe_st/odd_suing_god;_ylt=AmOHjQN6QK2Ic3e2WRtIJgOek3QF
Monday, September 17, 2007
A Most Special Evening
As an individual who was always starstruck, I wondered how it would be -- how I would be -- to meet a favorite actor, Hollywood crush or favorite band. Last Saturday, I had an opportunity to answer that question with the most incredible first-hand experience in my life - meeting the Brand New Heavies. It was so much better than I expected. I still have not yet returned to earth. The shock has been intense, although it has numbed me to the extent that I'm acting bizarrely normal. Let's get to the story.
So last Saturday, I drove to Atlantic City. After an awesome italian dinner at Specchio in the Borgata with a friend, we decided to kill some time on the casino floor and throw out money before picking up our "special guest tickets" at the box office, which was on the same floor of the Borgata's famous casino floor. After losing some cash to ridiculous casino games, I headed to the Box Office about 30 minutes before the show started. I approached the lady at the Box Office, and she said the tickets weren't available yet. I was getting really nervous, so I decided to call the Brand New Heavies tour manager. I asked him about the tickets, and then he said something, which sent my world tumbling down: "Sorry buddy, we made a mistake. We're out of tickets and they won't give us any for you or any other contest winner, but I'll see what we can do to help you."
I wanted to fade into darkness.
Until....
The tour manager appears behind the desk of the Box Office and starts talking to the people working for the Borgata. A few minutes later, I still don't have tickets, just the backstage passes for after the show...or so I thought. Apparently, the tour manager negotiated with the Borgata people to have me and my friend backstage DURING the concert.
10 minutes later, I'm on stage-right, 10 feet away from Andrew's bass amplifier. I watched the entire concert from the side of the stage -- and no one bothered me and my friend in that little private space. I sang every song word for word and at one point had N'Dea Davenport point at me as she turned around while singing. It was crazy. Flippin' crazy. The Heavies played a lot of old hits off their Brother Sister album and a lot of their new hits off the Get Used to It album. It was just incredible.
Fast-forward. After the concert, I expected to meet them for a few minutes, get my free t-shirt, tell N'Dea I love her and Jan that I wish I had his brain, and then split. Instead, I'm in their dressing room for 2 hours with some of their friends, and their manager mixing drinks. It was an intimate party (last night of their US tour) with a lot of conversation and alcohol. At one point, Simon Bartholomew (guitar god), told me to take some nasty brandy shots with him (check out my pics to see the before, during and after shots). N'Dea was just a sweetheart. I picked Jan's (Keys, Drums, songwriter/leader) brain too. I realized later on that on my web pages (e.g. friendster), I've had his name come up a lot under the "people i want to meet" question. Well, it's done. Andrew (Bass) was a riot. I made connections with the backup singer and the session keyboardist, and most importantly, exchanged information with the band members and their tour manager. Let's just say that it's possible that this isn't the last time that I get to spend some time (no pun intended) with them.
There are just too many details to this most special evening, and no blog entry or novel can truly encompass and express what I've experienced. Incredible. That's all I have to say.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Shakira in UCLA
So Shakira thought it was a good idea to study ancient civilization in UCLA. Some lucky starstruck dude who signed up for the random elective is going to have a chance to see the hip-shaker in the flesh. Cheers to you buddy.
http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=275674>1=7702
http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=275674>1=7702
Tomorrow Night
...is the night. I get to meet the Brand New Heavies, a band I've been following since 1991. It somewhat reminds me of that feeling of excitement and anticipation before the Jamiroquai concert back in October 2005 (I may have blogged about this back then but am not sure at this point - blogged about it because it was also a date), and by the end of tomorrow evening, I can truly say that I've watched two of my favorite bands ever.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I AM MEETING THE BRAND NEW HEAVIES AND MACY GRAY!
Nothing ambiguous about the headline! My childhood dream is coming true (no pun intended -- name of one of their older tracks).
I won two tickets to their concert, two t-shirts, AND backstage passes after the concert baby!!!!! The best part is, I get to bring a friend and choose a city -- and it won't be New York! I think I'm going to choose the Atlantic City concert. Sweet sweet!!
The Brand New Heavies. Along with Jamiroquai, they have been (at least for me) the pioneers of the acid jazz movement in the 90's. I've been listening to them since I was a teen. This is ridiculous. I'm going crazy!!!!!
I won two tickets to their concert, two t-shirts, AND backstage passes after the concert baby!!!!! The best part is, I get to bring a friend and choose a city -- and it won't be New York! I think I'm going to choose the Atlantic City concert. Sweet sweet!!
The Brand New Heavies. Along with Jamiroquai, they have been (at least for me) the pioneers of the acid jazz movement in the 90's. I've been listening to them since I was a teen. This is ridiculous. I'm going crazy!!!!!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
The Unexplainable Jason Bourne Trilogy
I cannot explain to you why I believe the Bourne Trilogy is one of the finest made suspense action series of movies that I have ever watched. I can, however, explain to you why truth and reconciliation committees worked for South Africa but would not work in certain South American countries, the policies behind allowing certain exceptions to hearsay when attempting to admit evidence in trial, or why 4 over 5 chords work better than straight up transitional 5s in not just contemporary and jazz, but R&B and even rock music (nerd statements under slight inebriation).
Of course, I digress. I believe the Bourne Ultimatum was the best of the three and that Matt Damon has really made a name for himself through this fine piece of cinematic art.
Enjoy: http://www.thebourneultimatum.com/
Of course, I digress. I believe the Bourne Ultimatum was the best of the three and that Matt Damon has really made a name for himself through this fine piece of cinematic art.
Enjoy: http://www.thebourneultimatum.com/
Celebrate Good Times
I can't say that I have ever spent my birthday the way I did (and currently am doing) today. All I can say is that I had a nice dinner at home after a few hours at a random bar drinking Heineken and shots of Patron, and now I am munching on white fudge covered pretzels.
Tonight, I watch some baseball, read a book and will wish for the best (or the better) this coming year. Good times.
Tonight, I watch some baseball, read a book and will wish for the best (or the better) this coming year. Good times.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Legit
A few weeks ago, I was sworn in and took an oath to "uphold the Constitution of the United States." It was really awesome to say the least. Around 70 of us -- all dressed up in formal "lawyer" attire -- stood in front of 5 judges in the Supreme Court of New York, and took the oath that would formally make us members of the legal profession. Then we signed a cool scroll to confirm our membership. Good thing a buddy of mine from law school showed up so I didn't seem like too much of a loner lost in the crowd of lawyerly lawyers. Oh, and my parents were there too taking pictures like crazy.
So there you go. After 6 years (1 year of law school abroad, 1 year applying to law school in the US, 3 years of law school in Boston, and 1 year of waiting for the Bar results), I'm legit.
So there you go. After 6 years (1 year of law school abroad, 1 year applying to law school in the US, 3 years of law school in Boston, and 1 year of waiting for the Bar results), I'm legit.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Old Friend on Law and Order
Last Saturday, I had an encounter with a long-lost friend from my past in another friend's birthday party. Apparently, she knew my other friends from the theater scene back home, and now they're all big time here in the United States in their own little way.
She and I met in college because we were both recruited to sing in this R&B group that managed to get a few significant gigs here and there. We basically performed old school R&B covers such as songs by the Braxtons and Groove Theory among other artists. It totally slipped my mind that she was in New York and was into acting as well.
So we caught up, and I realized quickly that she was still a zany firecracker of a woman. During the conversation, her ADD-ish self digressed to an invitation for me to watch TV in November. Apparently, she's coming out in an episode of Law and Order...more specifically, the opening scene where a witness finds a dead body. Apparently, she was the witness...and not the dead body.
How hot is that?
She also has a french surfer boyfriend who not only knows Philippine geography better than me, but has a tighter Filipino accent, can speak some tagalog, AND can sing Filipino tunes. What a shame for me.
I should start brushing up on my French and show him...Zut alors!!
She and I met in college because we were both recruited to sing in this R&B group that managed to get a few significant gigs here and there. We basically performed old school R&B covers such as songs by the Braxtons and Groove Theory among other artists. It totally slipped my mind that she was in New York and was into acting as well.
So we caught up, and I realized quickly that she was still a zany firecracker of a woman. During the conversation, her ADD-ish self digressed to an invitation for me to watch TV in November. Apparently, she's coming out in an episode of Law and Order...more specifically, the opening scene where a witness finds a dead body. Apparently, she was the witness...and not the dead body.
How hot is that?
She also has a french surfer boyfriend who not only knows Philippine geography better than me, but has a tighter Filipino accent, can speak some tagalog, AND can sing Filipino tunes. What a shame for me.
I should start brushing up on my French and show him...Zut alors!!
Friday, July 13, 2007
A Moment
It was the first time in a very long time that I had a moment --a specific kind of moment-- and it felt really good, sort of like the daytime-in-the-office realization that it's Friday.
I don't want to say what it was, but I can tell you what it was not. It wasn't winning anything, or getting a compliment from someone; it wasn't an affirmation at work, or a nice email from a friend; it wasn't an episode of poetic justice or redemption or anything to do with anyone else gaining or losing anything; it wasn't about being noticed; it wasn't complicated. Rather, it was something simple, short, yet momentous.
It made me smile, and in a cosmic way, it made my day.
I don't want to say what it was, but I can tell you what it was not. It wasn't winning anything, or getting a compliment from someone; it wasn't an affirmation at work, or a nice email from a friend; it wasn't an episode of poetic justice or redemption or anything to do with anyone else gaining or losing anything; it wasn't about being noticed; it wasn't complicated. Rather, it was something simple, short, yet momentous.
It made me smile, and in a cosmic way, it made my day.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Good to Go
I received fantastic news this week.
My boss approved of my participation in the Queens County District Attorney Pro Bono program, so my dream of arguing in court is becoming more apparent and real. Just thinking about it feeds my competitive spirit and compassion for the community with meaning. Imagine, one day, I'm dealing with companies that have allegedly issued false and misleading statements to their investors, and the next, I'm in court handling a criminal case. This is how I believe a lawyer's career should be balanced.
My boss approved of my participation in the Queens County District Attorney Pro Bono program, so my dream of arguing in court is becoming more apparent and real. Just thinking about it feeds my competitive spirit and compassion for the community with meaning. Imagine, one day, I'm dealing with companies that have allegedly issued false and misleading statements to their investors, and the next, I'm in court handling a criminal case. This is how I believe a lawyer's career should be balanced.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Charity Golf Take One
Yesterday marked my first ever charity golf tournament as a professional working for a company that partially sponsored the event. Along with some other attorneys, we basically played 18 holes at a prestigious Golf Club for the benefit of a Hospice and Palliative Care Society (not sure if it's "Society" but you get the drift).
During the tournament, I
1. almost hit an old lady teeing off at another hole, and of course, she had no idea that the ball landed right next to her
2. was almost involved in yet another vehicular accident when one my colleagues decided to drive the golf cart through curves like a rally car (he laughed as I almost fell out the side and possibly into a stream of water)
3. was witness to the amusing idiosyncracies of a partner
4. had to listen to a Jamaican caddy who seemed to know a bit too much about the supply of pot in his native homeland
5. had only one successful drive off the tee, but only to have it rocket into a tree that essentially allowed the ball to roll back and away from the green.
Other than that, I had a few good shots. Unfortunately, I didn't win in anything in the raffle that proceeded the tournament, like tickets to Hairspray or a Heineken sports bag...but that's okay. There's always next time. Fun times.
During the tournament, I
1. almost hit an old lady teeing off at another hole, and of course, she had no idea that the ball landed right next to her
2. was almost involved in yet another vehicular accident when one my colleagues decided to drive the golf cart through curves like a rally car (he laughed as I almost fell out the side and possibly into a stream of water)
3. was witness to the amusing idiosyncracies of a partner
4. had to listen to a Jamaican caddy who seemed to know a bit too much about the supply of pot in his native homeland
5. had only one successful drive off the tee, but only to have it rocket into a tree that essentially allowed the ball to roll back and away from the green.
Other than that, I had a few good shots. Unfortunately, I didn't win in anything in the raffle that proceeded the tournament, like tickets to Hairspray or a Heineken sports bag...but that's okay. There's always next time. Fun times.
Monday, June 18, 2007
The Unexpected Father's Day Rebirth
Because of my somewhat strained relationship with my father, I never considered Father's Day to be an important day of the year. In the most unexpected turn of events, I found myself greeting my dad for the first time in a long time. On top of that, I believe the last time I spoke to him was the end of 2006.
So we exchanged messages, and did something we never thought would've happened. He apologized and I forgave him. I in turn, realized that in one of my most powerful moments ever, I had forgiven myself. A fantastic way to end my weekend (other than watching a game at Yankee stadium last night) and start anew.
So we exchanged messages, and did something we never thought would've happened. He apologized and I forgave him. I in turn, realized that in one of my most powerful moments ever, I had forgiven myself. A fantastic way to end my weekend (other than watching a game at Yankee stadium last night) and start anew.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Didn't Get the Memo
So, guess who didn't know that Fridays are now dress-down casual, and has been that way for the past few weeks. Yup. I'm the Joseph Abboud model today and quite unnecessarily so.
Son of a...
I want my jeans.
Son of a...
I want my jeans.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
A Cesspool of Egos and the Illusion of Organization
Today, I was required by New York State to attend what they call an introduction to the profession orientation class, and what I call an utter waste of my time and gas. Apparently, NY lawyers must be informed of the 4 most pressing issues that a lawyer will face in his or her career, and gaining this knowledge is a prerequisite before being sworn in as a member of this o so noble profession.
What were these issues?
1. Civility and Profession - The lawyer spent half an hour telling us how important it was to act with courtesy to opponents, clients, judges, clerks, etc. Okay... So, he closes his lecture with a maxim: "Treat it with sugar, and not vinegar." He continues to advise us that an easy way to remember this is to have a packet of sugar in your pocket at all times. Good job. I'll be sure to stop by CVS on the way home and buy some splenda. That should remind me to make objections in court with a sunny smile on my face.
2. Ethics - Some other lawyer lectures on how to communicate and deal with client confidentiality. The redundancy of this profession has reached a ridiculous level. Not only were we required to take around 3 classes of professional responsibility in law school, study professional responsibility for the Bar exams, AND take a national professional responsibility exam, but we have to hear the same thing one last time just for good measure... Gotta love efficiency ey?
3. Banking and Recordkeeping - Don't commingle your personal funds and the funds of your client. Took 1 1/2 hours to get that message across.
and the best...
4. Alcohol and Substance Abuse - I won't make a joke here because it's a really serious topic. But it's good to know that there is a confidential "help hotline" for lawyers just in case things go awry. Cool thing is, it doesn't have to be about alcohol or drugs...it can be addiction problems to gambling, sex, ...issues of depression. So yea, it was the most interesting topic; the discussion, however, only took up 10 minutes of the torturous 3 hour session.
It's a good thing I bumped into a friend from law school to keep me company during my transient battle against narcolepsy. Some of the new lawyers were tools...they were like staring each other down, seeing who had the blackberries and the nicer suits, and some even came in their law school hoodie to announce to the world that they went to a top law school. Good idea if you are an egotistical prestige whore who pretends not to care about anyone else but does indeed care because you want people to praise you for going to a good school. Problem is, if you showed up to this class and you're not in a suit, it's probably because you don't have a job. Ouch.
Back to work.
What were these issues?
1. Civility and Profession - The lawyer spent half an hour telling us how important it was to act with courtesy to opponents, clients, judges, clerks, etc. Okay... So, he closes his lecture with a maxim: "Treat it with sugar, and not vinegar." He continues to advise us that an easy way to remember this is to have a packet of sugar in your pocket at all times. Good job. I'll be sure to stop by CVS on the way home and buy some splenda. That should remind me to make objections in court with a sunny smile on my face.
2. Ethics - Some other lawyer lectures on how to communicate and deal with client confidentiality. The redundancy of this profession has reached a ridiculous level. Not only were we required to take around 3 classes of professional responsibility in law school, study professional responsibility for the Bar exams, AND take a national professional responsibility exam, but we have to hear the same thing one last time just for good measure... Gotta love efficiency ey?
3. Banking and Recordkeeping - Don't commingle your personal funds and the funds of your client. Took 1 1/2 hours to get that message across.
and the best...
4. Alcohol and Substance Abuse - I won't make a joke here because it's a really serious topic. But it's good to know that there is a confidential "help hotline" for lawyers just in case things go awry. Cool thing is, it doesn't have to be about alcohol or drugs...it can be addiction problems to gambling, sex, ...issues of depression. So yea, it was the most interesting topic; the discussion, however, only took up 10 minutes of the torturous 3 hour session.
It's a good thing I bumped into a friend from law school to keep me company during my transient battle against narcolepsy. Some of the new lawyers were tools...they were like staring each other down, seeing who had the blackberries and the nicer suits, and some even came in their law school hoodie to announce to the world that they went to a top law school. Good idea if you are an egotistical prestige whore who pretends not to care about anyone else but does indeed care because you want people to praise you for going to a good school. Problem is, if you showed up to this class and you're not in a suit, it's probably because you don't have a job. Ouch.
Back to work.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Today's Initiative
3 important points:
1. I plan to join a pro bono program that will involve dealing with criminal cases in the appellate division of NY state courts. This will give me the opportunity to argue in court, which is what I've been wanting to do for the longest time. I miss professional argumentation, and it's about time I get the ball rolling. It may mean extra time at work, but that's all good; it's worth the sacrifice to be doing something wonderful for the community and at the same time show these NY judges what I'm made of. Of course, this is all pending an approval by my employer.
2. I promised myself to join a special weekend seminar that is supposed to be quite an experience according to my friend. As vague as the concept is, she calls me every other night to sell the seminar to me. Suffice it to say, she herself seemed so much more empowered after she had joined, so I'm more than willing to take the plunge with this one. Watch out for some posts after the weekend ends...it seems very promising.
3. I need to reach out to those who helped save my life last October. I have no more excuses to keep this from lingering.
1. I plan to join a pro bono program that will involve dealing with criminal cases in the appellate division of NY state courts. This will give me the opportunity to argue in court, which is what I've been wanting to do for the longest time. I miss professional argumentation, and it's about time I get the ball rolling. It may mean extra time at work, but that's all good; it's worth the sacrifice to be doing something wonderful for the community and at the same time show these NY judges what I'm made of. Of course, this is all pending an approval by my employer.
2. I promised myself to join a special weekend seminar that is supposed to be quite an experience according to my friend. As vague as the concept is, she calls me every other night to sell the seminar to me. Suffice it to say, she herself seemed so much more empowered after she had joined, so I'm more than willing to take the plunge with this one. Watch out for some posts after the weekend ends...it seems very promising.
3. I need to reach out to those who helped save my life last October. I have no more excuses to keep this from lingering.
Life Soundtrack Take Two
A year back, I posted about how songs become your life soundtrack, and how people go as far as playing them in their mp3 players on their way to work as if the theme of the song were a reflection of the person's feelings or current situation in life. Last year, it was Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley, and a kind stranger commented that it shouldn't be that way.
Well, it's a different year and a different soundtrack. Only this time, I have no soundtrack. No one song is being played over and over in my car or ipod while I'm at the gym. No song sticks out. For the first time ever, I do not have a coherent theme. Sometimes, the song that plays in my head is the one that goes, "you're the best, around...nothing's ever gonna keep you down...," which was, for you pop culture kiddies played during the final tournament scene in The Karate Kid when Daniel San was working his way to the finals. Honestly, I didn't download the song and I certainly wouldn't admit it if I did. Other times, it's Caught up in the Rapture by Anita Baker. What? Yea. I know right, polar opposites.
Will post again if I ever figure out what that song or songs might be, but for now, I got nothing.
Well, it's a different year and a different soundtrack. Only this time, I have no soundtrack. No one song is being played over and over in my car or ipod while I'm at the gym. No song sticks out. For the first time ever, I do not have a coherent theme. Sometimes, the song that plays in my head is the one that goes, "you're the best, around...nothing's ever gonna keep you down...," which was, for you pop culture kiddies played during the final tournament scene in The Karate Kid when Daniel San was working his way to the finals. Honestly, I didn't download the song and I certainly wouldn't admit it if I did. Other times, it's Caught up in the Rapture by Anita Baker. What? Yea. I know right, polar opposites.
Will post again if I ever figure out what that song or songs might be, but for now, I got nothing.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Much more than that
Apparently my personality assessment was 5 times longer than what I had posted below. Maybe I will just post some blurbs about what the algorithm has to say about me as I go about my week.
Personality Test
Ha. I took a personality test just for the hell of it. Here is the assessment:
"What can I do for you?" These words probably feel very natural to you. More than most people, you are genuinely interested in the well-being of others. If they are in trouble, you offer compassion and go out of your way to be helpful. If they need someone who will listen, you are attentive, trustworthy and sympathetic. And you are direct with them; when they need advice or counsel, you offer it in as straightforward and direct a manner as you can. There may even be times when you put others' needs in front of your own. And you do so without the expectation of some reward or recognition. Yours is a different kind of compassion; you are genuinely tenderhearted and take pleasure in helping others while expecting little or nothing in return. For you, it's not tit-for-tat, you truly want to do things for others that will better their lives. You mean it when you ask, "What can I do for you?"
Though your motives arise from genuine compassion, some people might think of you as "a little too good to be true." They could suspect that your kindness is something you use to ingratiate yourself with others or to get them to like you. Others may suspect that your altruism is a mask for your own problems; you take care of others but never let others get to know you well enough to offer you their care. Some of this suspicion may be genuine; they just can't believe you're this kind. But it may also be triggered by envy; people see in you a tenderheartedness they don't find in themselves, and it makes them uncomfortable so they take it out on you with their suspicions. If you spend your time taking care of others, you may not have enough left to take very good care of yourself. If you're always asking, "What can I do for you?", you may not focus enough on your own needs. You're so busy taking care of others that you neglect yourself and empty your reserves of energy and good health.
For the most part, people will feel gifted to come across someone like you. For those you help, you will be light in the darkness, a hand up when they've fallen into a ditch. Your true graciousness and selflessness is rather rare these days and is often a breath of fresh air in this all too often dog-eat-dog world. Others will see in you the kindness that each of us seeks in life, both in our own characters and in our relationships with others. And you will become a model of that honest compassion; someone others may even look up to. When the one potential partner truly appreciates who you are, he or she will feel blessed to be with someone that seemingly no one else in the world can be, mainly because you genuinely are a rare find, true lover and exciting partner.
"What can I do for you?" These words probably feel very natural to you. More than most people, you are genuinely interested in the well-being of others. If they are in trouble, you offer compassion and go out of your way to be helpful. If they need someone who will listen, you are attentive, trustworthy and sympathetic. And you are direct with them; when they need advice or counsel, you offer it in as straightforward and direct a manner as you can. There may even be times when you put others' needs in front of your own. And you do so without the expectation of some reward or recognition. Yours is a different kind of compassion; you are genuinely tenderhearted and take pleasure in helping others while expecting little or nothing in return. For you, it's not tit-for-tat, you truly want to do things for others that will better their lives. You mean it when you ask, "What can I do for you?"
Though your motives arise from genuine compassion, some people might think of you as "a little too good to be true." They could suspect that your kindness is something you use to ingratiate yourself with others or to get them to like you. Others may suspect that your altruism is a mask for your own problems; you take care of others but never let others get to know you well enough to offer you their care. Some of this suspicion may be genuine; they just can't believe you're this kind. But it may also be triggered by envy; people see in you a tenderheartedness they don't find in themselves, and it makes them uncomfortable so they take it out on you with their suspicions. If you spend your time taking care of others, you may not have enough left to take very good care of yourself. If you're always asking, "What can I do for you?", you may not focus enough on your own needs. You're so busy taking care of others that you neglect yourself and empty your reserves of energy and good health.
For the most part, people will feel gifted to come across someone like you. For those you help, you will be light in the darkness, a hand up when they've fallen into a ditch. Your true graciousness and selflessness is rather rare these days and is often a breath of fresh air in this all too often dog-eat-dog world. Others will see in you the kindness that each of us seeks in life, both in our own characters and in our relationships with others. And you will become a model of that honest compassion; someone others may even look up to. When the one potential partner truly appreciates who you are, he or she will feel blessed to be with someone that seemingly no one else in the world can be, mainly because you genuinely are a rare find, true lover and exciting partner.
Can't Fight the Feeling
Fr. Manoling once told me, as I had posted last year, that you have to accept that you cannot control your feelings, but can only control how you react after you feel a certain way. Day-to-day struggles then become this battle just to get through the day without driving yourself off a cliff (no pun intended). Fortunately, each day becomes easier, and the battles become challenges, then the challenges become triumphs. Triumphs translate to growth. Growth becomes strength. Strength leads to self-acceptance and appreciation. Self-acceptance and appreciation become love.
Good times.
Good times.
Friday, June 08, 2007
True Power: Surviving Cancer
One of my close friends was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma at the young age of 22 and in the middle of her first two years of med school.
After having lunch with her today, I realized how powerful people can be. She is long past her last chemo treatment and has been recovering. On top of all that, she survived her second year of med school and the ups and downs of personal relationships including close friends, classmates and a boyfriend now ex. Right now, she's still figuring out what to do with herself in terms of what she wants out of life and whether what she has in front of her is "fulfilling."
In reality, the power was obvious not so much by the way she came across to me while we were talking, but by the stark contrast of today's meeting compared to the way she was immediately after her final chemo treatment back in February when we went out for some coffee. I realized that giving up on life is very real, whether caused by life's disappointments or recovery (or non-recovery) from a deadly disease. Getting up in the morning is sometimes hard to do, but when you choose to do it, you are always one step closer to genuine empowerment. She has a ways to go for full emotional recovery, but her life perspective is now much different than it was last year, and she still pushes forward.
After having lunch with her today, I realized how powerful people can be. She is long past her last chemo treatment and has been recovering. On top of all that, she survived her second year of med school and the ups and downs of personal relationships including close friends, classmates and a boyfriend now ex. Right now, she's still figuring out what to do with herself in terms of what she wants out of life and whether what she has in front of her is "fulfilling."
In reality, the power was obvious not so much by the way she came across to me while we were talking, but by the stark contrast of today's meeting compared to the way she was immediately after her final chemo treatment back in February when we went out for some coffee. I realized that giving up on life is very real, whether caused by life's disappointments or recovery (or non-recovery) from a deadly disease. Getting up in the morning is sometimes hard to do, but when you choose to do it, you are always one step closer to genuine empowerment. She has a ways to go for full emotional recovery, but her life perspective is now much different than it was last year, and she still pushes forward.
Reunions, Funerals, Graduations, and Baptisms
There is such an interesting mix of things going on this weekend, including a joint graduation party, a community reunion, the wake of an acquaintance who died suddenly and the welcoming of another friend's second child.
When you go through the motions of life, you realize that others are going through the same human events as you, just at different phases, under different circumstances, and with different ways to react. There is a sense of belonging...belonging to a world of people who feel feelings, face trials, celebrate triumphs and confront vulnerability. I've already had my graduation party last year, and have experienced and will continue to experience death close to me, continue to have reunions with distant friends, and experience the welcoming of friends' children and even my own later on in life.
I'd better get back to reading some treatises for work. Will post again later.
When you go through the motions of life, you realize that others are going through the same human events as you, just at different phases, under different circumstances, and with different ways to react. There is a sense of belonging...belonging to a world of people who feel feelings, face trials, celebrate triumphs and confront vulnerability. I've already had my graduation party last year, and have experienced and will continue to experience death close to me, continue to have reunions with distant friends, and experience the welcoming of friends' children and even my own later on in life.
I'd better get back to reading some treatises for work. Will post again later.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Unexpected Death
I just found out that someone I knew back home had died of a stroke. He was around 30 and was very personable - we used to play basketball and soccer together. Suffice it to say, I received the bad news through several emails and text messages...only then did I realize how connected he was. His best friend and brother are also friends of mine, and I cannot even imagine what they are going through right now.
He was too young to die and had a promising life ahead of him. Ironically, he suffered the stroke while giving a seminar for work. I pray that his family find peace after the grief has passed.
I also pray in thanksgiving that God didn't take away my life back in October.
He was too young to die and had a promising life ahead of him. Ironically, he suffered the stroke while giving a seminar for work. I pray that his family find peace after the grief has passed.
I also pray in thanksgiving that God didn't take away my life back in October.
Strange Phone Call
Caller: "Good morning, I'd like to have my gutters cleaned."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Caller: "I'd like to have my gutters cleaned. Is this John's Gutter Service?"
Me: "Nooooo. This is a law firm."
Good job.
Song of the week: Seven Days in Sunny June - Jamiroquai. So appropriate!
Me: "Excuse me?"
Caller: "I'd like to have my gutters cleaned. Is this John's Gutter Service?"
Me: "Nooooo. This is a law firm."
Good job.
Song of the week: Seven Days in Sunny June - Jamiroquai. So appropriate!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Depositions, Drama and HDTVs
Reading through hundreds of pages of deposition transcripts has to be one of the most idle, useless and unproductive activities that I have ever done. So, I decided to blog and give my brain a breath of fresh intellectual stimulation. Sad to say, I think I have lost enough brain cells over the past few weeks because of unnecessary occurrences and angst-causing drama to the point that the coherence of this post may be at risk.
Hmmm. I was just thinking...I could be on a cruise right now with my family on the Mediterranean, celebrating my grandmother's 80th Birthday. Instead, I spend a few days on the phone with the cable operators because they decided that ironies, albeit morbid, cruel and darkly humorous ones, need to be a part of their customers' lives once in awhile: i.e. the cable box conks out during the weeks of TV's season finales.
Dramatic I am, as my girlfriend would describe me, and I try to temper it moderately and in a timely manner. My drama is something I would not dispense of because it belongs to the same thread of character that fuels my passion. To do such a thing would be to emotionally amputate my soul. Deep I know.
So now I'm staring at deposition transcripts. The good news is, by Saturday morning, I will be staring at something else more delightful and enticing...my new 40" LCD Flatscreen HDTV. I decided not to go for the plasma (thanks to the sound advice of my girlfriend), and am happy about the purchase. http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=7688914&type=product&productCategoryId=pcmcat95100050006&id=1138083537963 So now I have my memory foam bed and flatscreen HDTV.
Next purchase? I really need to stop shopping for myself and buy gifts for the people that helped save my life after that car accident of mine back in October. I also need a TV stand.
Hmmm. I was just thinking...I could be on a cruise right now with my family on the Mediterranean, celebrating my grandmother's 80th Birthday. Instead, I spend a few days on the phone with the cable operators because they decided that ironies, albeit morbid, cruel and darkly humorous ones, need to be a part of their customers' lives once in awhile: i.e. the cable box conks out during the weeks of TV's season finales.
Dramatic I am, as my girlfriend would describe me, and I try to temper it moderately and in a timely manner. My drama is something I would not dispense of because it belongs to the same thread of character that fuels my passion. To do such a thing would be to emotionally amputate my soul. Deep I know.
So now I'm staring at deposition transcripts. The good news is, by Saturday morning, I will be staring at something else more delightful and enticing...my new 40" LCD Flatscreen HDTV. I decided not to go for the plasma (thanks to the sound advice of my girlfriend), and am happy about the purchase. http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=7688914&type=product&productCategoryId=pcmcat95100050006&id=1138083537963 So now I have my memory foam bed and flatscreen HDTV.
Next purchase? I really need to stop shopping for myself and buy gifts for the people that helped save my life after that car accident of mine back in October. I also need a TV stand.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Memory Foam
The sensitive man often thinks about consumerism and financial conservatism. In my case, I have never been known to be a big spender because I tend to overthink my philosophy on having and spending money. Every once in awhile, however, even the most minimal of spenders need to treat themselves to that ultimate consumer product that just changes lifestyles. Almost 16 paychecks later, I find myself making that ultimate purchase, and my life has changed ever since.
Yes. It is exactly what you think it is. I made the purchase and am damn proud of it. I bought a memory foam bed, and it is the most amazing thing:
http://www.sealy.com/TrueForm/TrueForm.aspx
I fall asleep faster and it's much more difficult to wake up in the morning. Suffice it to say, my body doesn't take a beating anymore while sleeping. Such a great investment I believe.
Nice.
Next up? Flatscreen HDTV.
Yes. It is exactly what you think it is. I made the purchase and am damn proud of it. I bought a memory foam bed, and it is the most amazing thing:
http://www.sealy.com/TrueForm/TrueForm.aspx
I fall asleep faster and it's much more difficult to wake up in the morning. Suffice it to say, my body doesn't take a beating anymore while sleeping. Such a great investment I believe.
Nice.
Next up? Flatscreen HDTV.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Road Rage Against the Machine
I believe I must speak out against road rage...and hard-headedness for that matter.
Road rage has gotten me punched by an amateur boxer, threatened by an old man with a cane, and most recently, immobilized at the bottom of a hill off Route 22 in New York only avoiding death through sheer divine intervention.
Yet, the rage persists. Today was no exception. I don't even want to go into it, but I can never figure out how I developed this ... this disorder. It has to stop.
Meanwhile, I've been listening to Rage Against the Machine (and Alice in Chains for that matter) as of late -- no connection to the road rage topic whatsoever (yes, I mean it...no connection) -- and it makes me want to buy an electric. I haven't channeled and released my frustrations through a musical instrument in such a long time. I almost feel like my anxieties are well-kept inside my body and not wanting to leave. I need to play music to thrive and survive.
Going back to my topic, if you drive down Route 22 now, you will see that on one of the curves, a cross has been erected in memory of someone who recently died there because of a car accident. Driving further down south, you will see the curve that I drove off. I can't be this hard-headed. I need to get this seemingly innocuous yet incredibly hazardous part of my life together before God decides that one extra chance is enough for this lifetime.
Road rage has gotten me punched by an amateur boxer, threatened by an old man with a cane, and most recently, immobilized at the bottom of a hill off Route 22 in New York only avoiding death through sheer divine intervention.
Yet, the rage persists. Today was no exception. I don't even want to go into it, but I can never figure out how I developed this ... this disorder. It has to stop.
Meanwhile, I've been listening to Rage Against the Machine (and Alice in Chains for that matter) as of late -- no connection to the road rage topic whatsoever (yes, I mean it...no connection) -- and it makes me want to buy an electric. I haven't channeled and released my frustrations through a musical instrument in such a long time. I almost feel like my anxieties are well-kept inside my body and not wanting to leave. I need to play music to thrive and survive.
Going back to my topic, if you drive down Route 22 now, you will see that on one of the curves, a cross has been erected in memory of someone who recently died there because of a car accident. Driving further down south, you will see the curve that I drove off. I can't be this hard-headed. I need to get this seemingly innocuous yet incredibly hazardous part of my life together before God decides that one extra chance is enough for this lifetime.
I Cried on National TV
That's right. Strange trivia about me. It was neither the news catching me crying nor being caught on American Idol live sobbing over the angelic voice of a teen sensation (tone-deaf or otherwise).
Back in college, I experienced something quite traumatic. One of my good friends from college was killed protecting her father from an assassination attempt. This all occurred a few hours after I had brunch with her - so I basically had last contact. We were close through the debate team. A few years after her death, I was asked to present an award of some sort in her name during a nationally televised debate tournament. The presentation featured a video of her and a speech about her life. Granted the little spiel I had to recite on TV was written by someone else and, thus, easy to follow like a script, I couldn't help but breakdown into tears after the video presentation was over. I could barely speak.
Intense. It reminds me about how much of a whirlwind my life has been the past few years.
Back in college, I experienced something quite traumatic. One of my good friends from college was killed protecting her father from an assassination attempt. This all occurred a few hours after I had brunch with her - so I basically had last contact. We were close through the debate team. A few years after her death, I was asked to present an award of some sort in her name during a nationally televised debate tournament. The presentation featured a video of her and a speech about her life. Granted the little spiel I had to recite on TV was written by someone else and, thus, easy to follow like a script, I couldn't help but breakdown into tears after the video presentation was over. I could barely speak.
Intense. It reminds me about how much of a whirlwind my life has been the past few years.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Technology and Me
Today was quite the day for bachelor-me and technology.
I went to the gym and brought with me a new nike armband containing a discreet pocket for my new ipod nano. It's pretty cool and comfortable... the ipod sort of morphs into the armband well-padded and all. It really did look like the neo-workout getup that has recently hit gyms over the past few years and with the dawn of mp3 technology. Ironically, I found myself on a cross-training (hybrid elliptical and ski-type arm trainer) machine that malfunctioned and apparently couldn't take my weight. It was also squeaky and rocking a bit. The lady on the machine next to me looked like frightened, as if I was about to fall sidewards onto her tiny frame. What can I say? My gym is dingy, old and somewhat trashy complete with the hot pink neon signs. The owner bought out an old motel along one of the popular NY parkways and didn't do much of a good job reminding his patrons that the place used to be a motel. Let's put it this way, the outside view was, well, the kind of view you'd get if you were looking outside a motel window. I also didn't mention the fact that my head is just millimeters away from hitting the ceiling each time I run on a machine.
On another note, after the gym, I went shopping for a car auxiliary cord for my new ipod at Best Buy. On my way there, I remembered my car dealer telling me months ago to press the "info"button on my car so that I can talk to a Teleaid operator for some sort of orientation (if you don't know what Teleaid is, read on). I pressed the button, and WOW. The digital console that was once showing music became a telephone screen, and then suddenly, after a few rings, a woman's voice came out of the speakers...in surround sound. So we had a conversation, and she basically congratulated me for buying the car blah, blah, and then outlined the different Teleaid services after first telling me that she could see where I was at that point in time through satellite tracking (scary). Can I tell you? I love this country. First of all, there's a 911 button in case of emergency. If my airbags deploy, the car will dial 911 (I hope I NEVER have to go through that again). Then, there's a help button for roadside assistance. I thought that was alright, but then she told me that the assistance included running out of gas. WOW. I run out of gas and some dude comes to me in the middle of nowhere to fill my tank up at no charge except for the fuel. Finally, she told me about the info button. I could call up the info operator for just about anything, from directions to questions about my account. But the best part of the info service was the concierge option. Mother of God. With the concierge option, the operator can reserve restaurants and buy you tickets to concerts, games etc. She even said that you can order flowers for the ladies. Haha. RIGHT.
Ipods, hi-tech armbands, malfunctioning cross-training machines and a 24/7 help desk in my car. Ah, the life. Now only if Teleaid could help me with other things...
I went to the gym and brought with me a new nike armband containing a discreet pocket for my new ipod nano. It's pretty cool and comfortable... the ipod sort of morphs into the armband well-padded and all. It really did look like the neo-workout getup that has recently hit gyms over the past few years and with the dawn of mp3 technology. Ironically, I found myself on a cross-training (hybrid elliptical and ski-type arm trainer) machine that malfunctioned and apparently couldn't take my weight. It was also squeaky and rocking a bit. The lady on the machine next to me looked like frightened, as if I was about to fall sidewards onto her tiny frame. What can I say? My gym is dingy, old and somewhat trashy complete with the hot pink neon signs. The owner bought out an old motel along one of the popular NY parkways and didn't do much of a good job reminding his patrons that the place used to be a motel. Let's put it this way, the outside view was, well, the kind of view you'd get if you were looking outside a motel window. I also didn't mention the fact that my head is just millimeters away from hitting the ceiling each time I run on a machine.
On another note, after the gym, I went shopping for a car auxiliary cord for my new ipod at Best Buy. On my way there, I remembered my car dealer telling me months ago to press the "info"button on my car so that I can talk to a Teleaid operator for some sort of orientation (if you don't know what Teleaid is, read on). I pressed the button, and WOW. The digital console that was once showing music became a telephone screen, and then suddenly, after a few rings, a woman's voice came out of the speakers...in surround sound. So we had a conversation, and she basically congratulated me for buying the car blah, blah, and then outlined the different Teleaid services after first telling me that she could see where I was at that point in time through satellite tracking (scary). Can I tell you? I love this country. First of all, there's a 911 button in case of emergency. If my airbags deploy, the car will dial 911 (I hope I NEVER have to go through that again). Then, there's a help button for roadside assistance. I thought that was alright, but then she told me that the assistance included running out of gas. WOW. I run out of gas and some dude comes to me in the middle of nowhere to fill my tank up at no charge except for the fuel. Finally, she told me about the info button. I could call up the info operator for just about anything, from directions to questions about my account. But the best part of the info service was the concierge option. Mother of God. With the concierge option, the operator can reserve restaurants and buy you tickets to concerts, games etc. She even said that you can order flowers for the ladies. Haha. RIGHT.
Ipods, hi-tech armbands, malfunctioning cross-training machines and a 24/7 help desk in my car. Ah, the life. Now only if Teleaid could help me with other things...
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Sunday Empathy and Cheap Thrills
Rita and Lily wanted me to mention them on this post as sort of a Saturday night promise. While I'm not a fan of shout-outs and mentioning people's names, I believe that mentioning them would be timely and appropriate in this instance. So ladies, I have no idea why we find ourselves in this situation and I empathize wholeheartedly (or holeheartedly if you may - blech, how dramatic). Welcome to the U.S. It is quite frustrating, although our stories differ remarkably from each other so I'm not sure that we are all necessarily on the same wavelength. Alas, my knees are weakened partially because of...well,...that...and also because I spent the last 2 hours in the gym. Ah, the bittersweet words of frustration, vulnerability and fun. We'll find our way. The year just started (literally! year of the pig - Kung hei fat choy!).
On a totally unrelated topic, I remembered that, a few years ago, I went on a vacation with a large group of friends to a private island owned by one of my former bandmate's family. I have one of the funniest memories on that island. One night, we were all drinking near the beach and had our guitars. We decided that it would be cool to sing as many songs as possible non-stop using one chord progression, something like G -D - Bm - C, over and over again. It lasted an hour, and we covered everything from Extreme to Michael Jackson, U2 to Wilson Phillips, and The Beatles to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Ridiculous. I can't wait to do it again. I have a lot of new songs in mind.
Back to Boston this weekend. One reunion is long overdue...
Now off to the city to see some old friends and eat a free dinner. No work tomorrow. I think. Booyah.
On a totally unrelated topic, I remembered that, a few years ago, I went on a vacation with a large group of friends to a private island owned by one of my former bandmate's family. I have one of the funniest memories on that island. One night, we were all drinking near the beach and had our guitars. We decided that it would be cool to sing as many songs as possible non-stop using one chord progression, something like G -D - Bm - C, over and over again. It lasted an hour, and we covered everything from Extreme to Michael Jackson, U2 to Wilson Phillips, and The Beatles to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Ridiculous. I can't wait to do it again. I have a lot of new songs in mind.
Back to Boston this weekend. One reunion is long overdue...
Now off to the city to see some old friends and eat a free dinner. No work tomorrow. I think. Booyah.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Blue Moon on the Day of the Red
I'll keep this short. It was a good Wednesday the 14th.
I stayed at home and achieved the things I wanted to achieve this Valentine's:
For starters, I had a bottle of blue moon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Moon_(beer) upon coming home from work. Really good stuff if you are into Hefeweizen types of white beer (I'm drinking my last bottle now as I type this after an intense episode of Grey's - that's right. I watch the show and am proud of it).
Then I spoke on the phone with one of the most important women in my life, my true valentine, my little adorable sister. She is so sweet and beautiful, it scares me that she'll be a second grader in less than a year (no, I am not insinuating that grade 2 makes you ugly and mischievous). My baby girl is getting older.
Finally and most importantly, I went through what I considered to be my primary Valentine experience...
It wasn't a date.
I didn't give her flowers.
I didn't sing to her.
I didn't give her anything for that matter, and perhaps in some respects, I don't even really give her any attention.
She may be getting more attention on this post than I had intended.
She clearly isn't my girlfriend, but she clearly means something to me.
It was just a simple message. A "Happy Vday" message... and that was enough...more than enough. Good times.
I stayed at home and achieved the things I wanted to achieve this Valentine's:
For starters, I had a bottle of blue moon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Moon_(beer) upon coming home from work. Really good stuff if you are into Hefeweizen types of white beer (I'm drinking my last bottle now as I type this after an intense episode of Grey's - that's right. I watch the show and am proud of it).
Then I spoke on the phone with one of the most important women in my life, my true valentine, my little adorable sister. She is so sweet and beautiful, it scares me that she'll be a second grader in less than a year (no, I am not insinuating that grade 2 makes you ugly and mischievous). My baby girl is getting older.
Finally and most importantly, I went through what I considered to be my primary Valentine experience...
It wasn't a date.
I didn't give her flowers.
I didn't sing to her.
I didn't give her anything for that matter, and perhaps in some respects, I don't even really give her any attention.
She may be getting more attention on this post than I had intended.
She clearly isn't my girlfriend, but she clearly means something to me.
It was just a simple message. A "Happy Vday" message... and that was enough...more than enough. Good times.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Your Word for 2007
The Prata Princess (check out her amazing stories on her blog - sizzlinginsingapore) asked me a very interesting question that seems to be a spin of a "new year's resolution" type of query. She asked, "what's your word for the year?"
Mine?
Confidence.
Mine?
Confidence.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
The Games We Play
Birthday
"I wish it was my birthday, and not a rainy Tuesday.
I wish I was not lonely, laying by your side.
I wish it was a good thing, and not an awful truth thing.
I wish it was my birthday, and everything was cool."
- D'sound, off their new album "My Today" - http://www.dsound.com
This song is off the charts. Sexy acid jazz and with a good chill out feel with a touch of soul, R&B and 70's dance. It's one of those emotional ironies - it's awesome to sing along with this song; it's "groovy" and the tune makes you feel good, but it's also a song about longing and loneliness.
As I type this post at 5:30 on a Saturday afternoon, wearing plaid banana rep boxers and some random t-shirt I bought in a Seattle Costco several years ago, I find myself slouched on the executive chair I had bought myself for law school with half-destroyed iPod earphones plugged into my ears listening to "Birthday" on repeat on itunes, and with my arms reached out and hands sprawled out on top of my laptop thinking about the games we play...the games women play.
I must've had several conversations with friends the past few weeks about playing games. It seems like that everyone agrees that even when one claims that he or she isn't playing, "playing" is essentially unavoidable so as long as you are trying to get someone to go out with you or at the least, one person is attracted to another. Everyone plays the game. When you say that you are not playing a game, you still are playing, just to a lesser degree. So,the only real question left is to what degree you are willing to play.
Someone once asked me what I thought the game was about. At first, I told them that I thought it was just the way things are here in the US (of course, I was pretending to be the innocent foreigner who didn't have a better answer about dating). On a deeper level, however, I did have a better answer and I shared it with one of my other good friends: It's the comprehensive management of another's expectations, usually between two people who are somewhat attracted to each other but haven't figured out what to do yet, and while they are figuring things out, they find ways to keep things hanging, to continue the game, to progress or to regress, or to kill time because nothing else in life seems more amusing then this innocuous and fleeting flirtation. Because it's about management of another's expectations, it can be used to push the other person away, or to "push" the other away only to signal to him or her that the "pusher" wants him or her to push back. The permutations are endless and the signs, well, open to several intepretations.
It reached a point in my life where I said that I would stop overanalyzing women's actions when I found myself in that situation and eventually in a deep hole. Unfortunately, however, the answer wasn't that simple. SOME analysis is needed when you're in the game for cripes sake. What if you miss a sign? What if you, as an old friend used to say, "miss the bus?" But hold on one second, on an even deeper level, aren't you giving yourself too much crap to deal with if you were to think that way? Why does it have to always be about, "how do i get her," and not about, "what the hell do I want?" My best friend once gave me good advice about dating a few years back after my legendary break up. He said, "dude, when you go out on a date, think about having fun for yourself. Don't get caught up trying to make her happy all the time." So I tell myself, well, if you both really like each other and want to go out, then it'll happen and continue, or something cosmically warped like that.
How much is in your control and how much isn't? What if you are absolutely convinced that the girl you like will not budge no matter what you do, but deep down inside, if you DO something then she might reciprocate? So many what ifs. I would need to pop a motrin for each what if that has haunted me in this lifetime. As my more devout friends would tell me, "God will give you the right girl at the right time." Nice. God will "give" me a girl. Perhaps they meant to say that I would meet the right girl in "God's time."
"I wish it was a good thing, and not an awful truth thing."
I can go on and on about this, and chances are this won't be my last post on this topic. Feel free to leave comments, would love to hear about your experiences - and don't bother giving me advice, you don't even know my situation.
By the way, life becomes more interesting when you like someone and haven't genuinely liked anyone in forever. Like is good. Time to head out to the city and par-tey. I'll take some shots tonight for the people reading this post. Salud mis amigos y amigas.
"I wish it was my birthday, and not a rainy Tuesday.
I wish I was not lonely, laying by your side.
I wish it was a good thing, and not an awful truth thing.
I wish it was my birthday, and everything was cool."
- D'sound, off their new album "My Today" - http://www.dsound.com
This song is off the charts. Sexy acid jazz and with a good chill out feel with a touch of soul, R&B and 70's dance. It's one of those emotional ironies - it's awesome to sing along with this song; it's "groovy" and the tune makes you feel good, but it's also a song about longing and loneliness.
As I type this post at 5:30 on a Saturday afternoon, wearing plaid banana rep boxers and some random t-shirt I bought in a Seattle Costco several years ago, I find myself slouched on the executive chair I had bought myself for law school with half-destroyed iPod earphones plugged into my ears listening to "Birthday" on repeat on itunes, and with my arms reached out and hands sprawled out on top of my laptop thinking about the games we play...the games women play.
I must've had several conversations with friends the past few weeks about playing games. It seems like that everyone agrees that even when one claims that he or she isn't playing, "playing" is essentially unavoidable so as long as you are trying to get someone to go out with you or at the least, one person is attracted to another. Everyone plays the game. When you say that you are not playing a game, you still are playing, just to a lesser degree. So,the only real question left is to what degree you are willing to play.
Someone once asked me what I thought the game was about. At first, I told them that I thought it was just the way things are here in the US (of course, I was pretending to be the innocent foreigner who didn't have a better answer about dating). On a deeper level, however, I did have a better answer and I shared it with one of my other good friends: It's the comprehensive management of another's expectations, usually between two people who are somewhat attracted to each other but haven't figured out what to do yet, and while they are figuring things out, they find ways to keep things hanging, to continue the game, to progress or to regress, or to kill time because nothing else in life seems more amusing then this innocuous and fleeting flirtation. Because it's about management of another's expectations, it can be used to push the other person away, or to "push" the other away only to signal to him or her that the "pusher" wants him or her to push back. The permutations are endless and the signs, well, open to several intepretations.
It reached a point in my life where I said that I would stop overanalyzing women's actions when I found myself in that situation and eventually in a deep hole. Unfortunately, however, the answer wasn't that simple. SOME analysis is needed when you're in the game for cripes sake. What if you miss a sign? What if you, as an old friend used to say, "miss the bus?" But hold on one second, on an even deeper level, aren't you giving yourself too much crap to deal with if you were to think that way? Why does it have to always be about, "how do i get her," and not about, "what the hell do I want?" My best friend once gave me good advice about dating a few years back after my legendary break up. He said, "dude, when you go out on a date, think about having fun for yourself. Don't get caught up trying to make her happy all the time." So I tell myself, well, if you both really like each other and want to go out, then it'll happen and continue, or something cosmically warped like that.
How much is in your control and how much isn't? What if you are absolutely convinced that the girl you like will not budge no matter what you do, but deep down inside, if you DO something then she might reciprocate? So many what ifs. I would need to pop a motrin for each what if that has haunted me in this lifetime. As my more devout friends would tell me, "God will give you the right girl at the right time." Nice. God will "give" me a girl. Perhaps they meant to say that I would meet the right girl in "God's time."
"I wish it was a good thing, and not an awful truth thing."
I can go on and on about this, and chances are this won't be my last post on this topic. Feel free to leave comments, would love to hear about your experiences - and don't bother giving me advice, you don't even know my situation.
By the way, life becomes more interesting when you like someone and haven't genuinely liked anyone in forever. Like is good. Time to head out to the city and par-tey. I'll take some shots tonight for the people reading this post. Salud mis amigos y amigas.
Random Thoughts: Insane New York
1. Simpson, Thacher & Bartlett raised the salaries of their first-year associates to $160,000. Soon after, the top elite NY law firms followed, including the "whiteshoe" Sullivan & Cromwell, which now pays their senior associates $310,000 according to a recent article. Utterly ridiculous. There are over 300 law schools in the United States and a significant amount (hundreds of thousands?) of "lawyers" that enter the profession every year. A small percentage of the lawyers end up working for large firms (300-1300 lawyers) and many of them never worked between college and law school. This just befuddles me. I always think that, perhaps with the great exception of the medical profession (in some circumstances), everyone could use some business acumen and a sense of appreciation for human resources no matter what profession they belong. More importantly and specifically, a sense of direction, organization and a sincere UNDERSTANDING of what the hell you are supposed to do could benefit lawyers and even convert law firms into more efficient business organizations. The fact of the matter is, in most of these firms, you don't do squat for the first few years in your career. Yet, you earn 6 figures. I know, I know, who am I to rant? I get my bonus and raise this Tuesday.
2. I was hanging out with two of my co-workers, both NY natives, when they told me that they like it when their man puts them in their place. One said, "I hate it when men say, 'whatever you want honey,'" while the other one said, "You need some explosiveness in your life you know?" GEEZ. It makes me wonder why I hadn't moved to NY at an earlier age. Last I checked, my past few girlfriends were relieved to have broken up with me because I put them in their place once in a while. Maybe I'm just too relentless when I go off all angry about things. That's effin' awesome (who uses "effin" and "befuddles" in the same writing?)- although I think I have to take it easy on the road from now on. My luck on the road has run out - major car accident, carjacking incident, carnapping incident, dude with road rage (who was an amateur boxer) punched me, another major car accident where I hit a police convoy transporting recently arrested drug syndicate members, ... I digress.
3. One of my co-workers took me out for karaoke with her boyfriend and some friends. So maybe this doesn't fit under the NY theme since the bar was located in Stamford. Damn. I couldn't believe the crowd. For the most part, they were receptive and would sing along with just about everyone, but then again 75% of the patrons could carry a decent tune. The unbelievable part of the evening was when the 25% came up. It wasn't so much that they were horrible - one girl had sung an entire song on one note that wasn't even really a "note," had no concept of timing, and couldn't even read the damn lyrics of the karaoke screen - it was more of the fact that if you couldn't sing, people would BOO you. What the hell? This is karaoke not American Idol. Lame. Tough crowd. It's a good thing I busted out some signature songs to get the crowd going and thus save myself from the wrath of the Stamfordites. Very unforgiving.
4. I hear it's bad luck to have things in threes. So I'm going to add this fourth random thought just for the hell of it: I hear it's bad luck to have things in threes.
2. I was hanging out with two of my co-workers, both NY natives, when they told me that they like it when their man puts them in their place. One said, "I hate it when men say, 'whatever you want honey,'" while the other one said, "You need some explosiveness in your life you know?" GEEZ. It makes me wonder why I hadn't moved to NY at an earlier age. Last I checked, my past few girlfriends were relieved to have broken up with me because I put them in their place once in a while. Maybe I'm just too relentless when I go off all angry about things. That's effin' awesome (who uses "effin" and "befuddles" in the same writing?)- although I think I have to take it easy on the road from now on. My luck on the road has run out - major car accident, carjacking incident, carnapping incident, dude with road rage (who was an amateur boxer) punched me, another major car accident where I hit a police convoy transporting recently arrested drug syndicate members, ... I digress.
3. One of my co-workers took me out for karaoke with her boyfriend and some friends. So maybe this doesn't fit under the NY theme since the bar was located in Stamford. Damn. I couldn't believe the crowd. For the most part, they were receptive and would sing along with just about everyone, but then again 75% of the patrons could carry a decent tune. The unbelievable part of the evening was when the 25% came up. It wasn't so much that they were horrible - one girl had sung an entire song on one note that wasn't even really a "note," had no concept of timing, and couldn't even read the damn lyrics of the karaoke screen - it was more of the fact that if you couldn't sing, people would BOO you. What the hell? This is karaoke not American Idol. Lame. Tough crowd. It's a good thing I busted out some signature songs to get the crowd going and thus save myself from the wrath of the Stamfordites. Very unforgiving.
4. I hear it's bad luck to have things in threes. So I'm going to add this fourth random thought just for the hell of it: I hear it's bad luck to have things in threes.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Nice guys drink weak sauce
So I come across this email from a buddy. All my friends tell me that I fit this mold of the "nice guy," so as you can imagine, the average reasonable person would expect the following article to fully resonate in me. I feel compelled for once to fill up an entire post with someone else's writing because I probably would've written it the same way anyway. Enjoy:
TO THE NICE GUYS. (Wharton Undergraduate Journal)
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled and unjustly abandoned this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a humor that romantically linked her and the guy that she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-humor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing serious between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamlessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: oh, but we're just friends! And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're not like that.
The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical manipulative *itches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as, oh he's too nice to date, or he would be a good boyfriend but not for me or he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out! or the most frustrating of all: no, it would ruin our friendship. Yet they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their nice too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete jerk now). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice- guy- finishes- last phenomenon doesnt last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of the thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is, finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgment, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well-deserved vindication is coming..
So now I'm starting to doubt that this was actually published in a Wharton paper. There were several typos and it wasn't very well written. I know, I know, I'm being a jackass, but as a litigator, I have no choice but to be critical about these types of things. Whatever. I thought it was amusing.
In the meantime, 2007 for Mr. Nice Guy has started off with a bang...a loud, destructive, what-the-hell-just-happened, explosion, the leftover fragments of which strangely remind me of the dark and twilight zone-ish past that had been vanquished the past few years. But whatever. The year is young and I'm still a NY lawyer with his head and heart in the right place and I can only hope that better things will come my way.
Just know, if you ever find yourself in a bind, survival in this cruel world is more likely when you concede two things:
1. When you get hurt, you only get stronger when you allow yourself to believe that it will happen again; and
2. When the shit hits the fan, the last thing you should ever do to yourself is wallow in self-pity.
Happy New Year from the Sensitive Man, the Nice Guy. Man that sounded weak. Pweh! Someone get me a scotch and a punching bag.
TO THE NICE GUYS. (Wharton Undergraduate Journal)
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled and unjustly abandoned this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a humor that romantically linked her and the guy that she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-humor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing serious between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamlessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: oh, but we're just friends! And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're not like that.
The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical manipulative *itches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as, oh he's too nice to date, or he would be a good boyfriend but not for me or he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out! or the most frustrating of all: no, it would ruin our friendship. Yet they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their nice too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete jerk now). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice- guy- finishes- last phenomenon doesnt last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of the thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is, finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgment, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well-deserved vindication is coming..
So now I'm starting to doubt that this was actually published in a Wharton paper. There were several typos and it wasn't very well written. I know, I know, I'm being a jackass, but as a litigator, I have no choice but to be critical about these types of things. Whatever. I thought it was amusing.
In the meantime, 2007 for Mr. Nice Guy has started off with a bang...a loud, destructive, what-the-hell-just-happened, explosion, the leftover fragments of which strangely remind me of the dark and twilight zone-ish past that had been vanquished the past few years. But whatever. The year is young and I'm still a NY lawyer with his head and heart in the right place and I can only hope that better things will come my way.
Just know, if you ever find yourself in a bind, survival in this cruel world is more likely when you concede two things:
1. When you get hurt, you only get stronger when you allow yourself to believe that it will happen again; and
2. When the shit hits the fan, the last thing you should ever do to yourself is wallow in self-pity.
Happy New Year from the Sensitive Man, the Nice Guy. Man that sounded weak. Pweh! Someone get me a scotch and a punching bag.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Strike a balance
Back in college, our debate team always seemed to use this argumentation trick, most especially when the other team knew about the subject matter better than we did. The trick was simple. If our opponents proposed a new policy in the debate round, we always "nuanced" the solution by suggesting that the policy was extreme and that our counterproposal was a "balance" of all interests. If we proposed a policy or a plan, and the opposing team shot it down with their thorough knowledge of the topic, our second speaker would come up and finesse our policy to make it sound less extreme and closer to a balanced proposition, thus making our opponents look like they had misinterpreted our first speaker's plan.
Sometimes when you develop skill sets, you can't help but bring them into other aspects of your life. In my case, the reasoning and argumentation skills I had developed during college shaped the way I communicated with people after college. It was only years after the banter and exchanges with friends and strangers that I started to realize what I was saying and how I was representing myself to others: every answer was an attempt to show an effort of striking a balance in life.
Apparently, behind every best and safe answer to any and almost every life question is the concept of striking a balance. What is your attitude towards work? Work hard play hard. How would you allocate your free time in a year? Lots of alone time, vacation with family, friday night partying with friends, and Saturday evening dates. What do you like to drink in an evening? A few bottles of beer, a shot or two, and maybe even a glass of wine...then water. How do you describe your ideal girlfriend? Prudent, intelligent, strong-willed, independent, hot, sexy, appealing, smells good (yeah, I know right?)... You get the picture.
What does this all mean though? Does it mean that a bit of everything is better and healthier than having too much of one thing? Or, is it a strong reflection of a combination of a short attention span, indecisiveness and lack of a solid stance in living life? Is it just playing safe? Too safe? Denny Crane would call you a "Nansy Pansy." What if it really is about the old me? You know, the one who is risk averse (check out the old posts about geronimo moments - I'm too lazy to make a link). Maybe I am just mixing up concepts. Balance doesn't necessarily mean compromise. Maybe I am on the right track.
At least one thing is for sure. I like and respect myself more than I did the past few years and it's giving me some new found confidence in everything I do. I like the whole concept of balance. I'm getting there. I'm getting there.
Thank you, debate society, for the tip.
Sometimes when you develop skill sets, you can't help but bring them into other aspects of your life. In my case, the reasoning and argumentation skills I had developed during college shaped the way I communicated with people after college. It was only years after the banter and exchanges with friends and strangers that I started to realize what I was saying and how I was representing myself to others: every answer was an attempt to show an effort of striking a balance in life.
Apparently, behind every best and safe answer to any and almost every life question is the concept of striking a balance. What is your attitude towards work? Work hard play hard. How would you allocate your free time in a year? Lots of alone time, vacation with family, friday night partying with friends, and Saturday evening dates. What do you like to drink in an evening? A few bottles of beer, a shot or two, and maybe even a glass of wine...then water. How do you describe your ideal girlfriend? Prudent, intelligent, strong-willed, independent, hot, sexy, appealing, smells good (yeah, I know right?)... You get the picture.
What does this all mean though? Does it mean that a bit of everything is better and healthier than having too much of one thing? Or, is it a strong reflection of a combination of a short attention span, indecisiveness and lack of a solid stance in living life? Is it just playing safe? Too safe? Denny Crane would call you a "Nansy Pansy." What if it really is about the old me? You know, the one who is risk averse (check out the old posts about geronimo moments - I'm too lazy to make a link). Maybe I am just mixing up concepts. Balance doesn't necessarily mean compromise. Maybe I am on the right track.
At least one thing is for sure. I like and respect myself more than I did the past few years and it's giving me some new found confidence in everything I do. I like the whole concept of balance. I'm getting there. I'm getting there.
Thank you, debate society, for the tip.
Monday, January 15, 2007
The Sensitive Man says, "In 2007...
...do not take everything so seriously;
...do not be too serious;
...do not take everything too personally;
...do not make a sarcastic joke if you know that its delivery will be interpreted as being a serious pointed statement;
...do not be too self-conscious;
...do not be someone else;
...do not be a douche;
...do not compromise passion;
...do not be fooled by that artificial no late fee policy of Blockbuster (check your credit card statements)
...since we're on the topic, you'd better also check your credit card statements for random monthly fees charged to you if you had purchased tickets off the ticketmaster website.
...do not think that this is unsolicited advice;
...do not think this is about you;
...do not think this is about me;
...do not think that I am obnoxiously trying to preach;
...do not think this is a serious post;
...do not think this is an attempt to be funny;
...do not think you are the only one in this world with baggage;
...do not think you lack uniqueness;
...most importantly, DO NOT THINK TOO MUCH, unless you're getting paid to do so. Give yourself more credit. You'll be much happier."
...do not be too serious;
...do not take everything too personally;
...do not make a sarcastic joke if you know that its delivery will be interpreted as being a serious pointed statement;
...do not be too self-conscious;
...do not be someone else;
...do not be a douche;
...do not compromise passion;
...do not be fooled by that artificial no late fee policy of Blockbuster (check your credit card statements)
...since we're on the topic, you'd better also check your credit card statements for random monthly fees charged to you if you had purchased tickets off the ticketmaster website.
...do not think that this is unsolicited advice;
...do not think this is about you;
...do not think this is about me;
...do not think that I am obnoxiously trying to preach;
...do not think this is a serious post;
...do not think this is an attempt to be funny;
...do not think you are the only one in this world with baggage;
...do not think you lack uniqueness;
...most importantly, DO NOT THINK TOO MUCH, unless you're getting paid to do so. Give yourself more credit. You'll be much happier."
My Stupid Mouth
It appears, at least from my humble and lay perspective, that one of the more fundamental characteristics common to successful or memorable movies or tv shows is the ability to strike at the heart of themes to which people personally relate. I'm sure most of you out there have been guilty of saying, "that's me!" when watching a movie with a persona that seems to illustrate your "issues" in life, albeit most of the time, the dark and humorous ones. The extent of this relation-to-movie phenomemon can be absurd too. For example, I was having dinner with a friend from law school here in New York when we noticed 4 women at the bar: a red head, brunette, and two blondes sipping on martinis, scoping out men, and yes...talking about sex.
I guess in a sense Hollywood has the power to sustain social themes and thus draw the viewer closer and more personally to the film. In a certain sense, songs have the same power...at least the well-written ones.
The other evening, I was reminded of my college days - driving fast cars, uncontrollable hormones, junk-food binging and being a member of a rock band. During the lighter and latter years, I remember performing a John Mayer song that resonated in me because of the lyrics and the tune. I thought that the song was me or at least a projection of how I wanted to be.
Check it out:
My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see
She was offended
She said "well anyway..."
Just dying for a subject change
Oh, it's another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon
We bit our lips
She looked out the window
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess with the salt and pepper shaker
And I could see clearly, An indelible line was drawn
Between what was good, what JUST slipped out and what went wrong
Oh, the way she feels about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one
I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me
Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now
One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire
I'm never speaking up again
it only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
than she desert me
oh i'm never speaking up again
Starting now, starting now...
There's a cute irony to the song. The irony is, in some respects, the guy in the song is a complete and utter loser. In real life, he needs to shape the way he communicates with women because because saying too much can get you into deep holes. Of course, he attempts to try harder the next time and ends up overcompensating by saying too little, and then he becomes a boring conversationalist and a bad date. The irony however, lies in a distinction I made above. This "loser" is the ultimate winner in movieland. This is John Cusack. The guy who fumbles and screws up and can't articulate his feelings and gets restless during a dinner date. The girl character, of course, ends up falling for him...and then going back to real life, chick-flick fanatics end up falling for him too.
I can't really tell if my perspective on my relation to this song is one from the movieland concept or the real life one. Hell, I can't even tell if this is who I am or who I want to be, or who I don't want to be. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. Maybe I just like the song and I'm a fan of the underdog.
"One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire"
I love it. It's almost like a self-deprecating joke turned hit song.
TRIVIA: It's bizaare, as I was told the other night, how things come around full circle - This song reminded me of funny social themes in life - dating, self-consciousness and self-confidence - which then reminded me of hollywood characters - John Cusack in any chick-flick. I then remembered watching Serendipity starring John Cusack. The Serendipity soundtrack contains my favorite John Mayer song, "1983."
I guess in a sense Hollywood has the power to sustain social themes and thus draw the viewer closer and more personally to the film. In a certain sense, songs have the same power...at least the well-written ones.
The other evening, I was reminded of my college days - driving fast cars, uncontrollable hormones, junk-food binging and being a member of a rock band. During the lighter and latter years, I remember performing a John Mayer song that resonated in me because of the lyrics and the tune. I thought that the song was me or at least a projection of how I wanted to be.
Check it out:
My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see
She was offended
She said "well anyway..."
Just dying for a subject change
Oh, it's another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon
We bit our lips
She looked out the window
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess with the salt and pepper shaker
And I could see clearly, An indelible line was drawn
Between what was good, what JUST slipped out and what went wrong
Oh, the way she feels about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one
I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me
Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now
One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire
I'm never speaking up again
it only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
than she desert me
oh i'm never speaking up again
Starting now, starting now...
There's a cute irony to the song. The irony is, in some respects, the guy in the song is a complete and utter loser. In real life, he needs to shape the way he communicates with women because because saying too much can get you into deep holes. Of course, he attempts to try harder the next time and ends up overcompensating by saying too little, and then he becomes a boring conversationalist and a bad date. The irony however, lies in a distinction I made above. This "loser" is the ultimate winner in movieland. This is John Cusack. The guy who fumbles and screws up and can't articulate his feelings and gets restless during a dinner date. The girl character, of course, ends up falling for him...and then going back to real life, chick-flick fanatics end up falling for him too.
I can't really tell if my perspective on my relation to this song is one from the movieland concept or the real life one. Hell, I can't even tell if this is who I am or who I want to be, or who I don't want to be. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. Maybe I just like the song and I'm a fan of the underdog.
"One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire"
I love it. It's almost like a self-deprecating joke turned hit song.
TRIVIA: It's bizaare, as I was told the other night, how things come around full circle - This song reminded me of funny social themes in life - dating, self-consciousness and self-confidence - which then reminded me of hollywood characters - John Cusack in any chick-flick. I then remembered watching Serendipity starring John Cusack. The Serendipity soundtrack contains my favorite John Mayer song, "1983."
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